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By request: My Recap of the Leaked Tell-All video.

A slow descent into madness: an exhaustive recap of the tell all leak
Supposedly the leaked video (clocking in at 10+ hours) was the second day filming.
I watched the entire thing. This is a rambling list of the thoughts going through my mind while watching, and a fairly comprehensive timeline / summary of events, or at least the juiciest parts. I believe it becomes fairly obvious when my mental state started to decline - I was well into the 5th hour by then.
Part 1: David
The show begins an hour into the video.
A lot of time was spent on David. Asking David the same questions, hoping he’d get a clue. Instead he doubled down on his delusion.
David started in this endeavor by going on two trips with a friend over 20 years ago. He states he did not like it - 25 guys meeting 400 women in a big bar. He said it was horrible - he called the women aggressive and professional daters. He went on another trip with 10 guys meeting maybe 40 women in different cities. He describes receiving catalogs of women and selecting specific ones to meet on the trip. A friend he met on one of these trips introduced him to a web site in 2007.
Lana does not work for the web site or get paid. According to David, the web sites are US sites, they contract through the agency that vets the “girls”. He insists Lana derives no income from the web site or agency. It’s illegal for him to contact her directly? He pays in order to not be scammed.
He has known Lana for 7 years. She was too young at the start - he won’t “date” anyone under 25. He wasn’t talking to Lana for 2.5 years. He’s “dated” 30 girls in Ukraine when he wasn’t talking to Lana. He’s been to Ukraine 20 times. He’s been engaged twice to women over there (and twice in America.)
David says Lana is very poor. Has very few clothes and possessions. She only has five pairs of shoes and gets a new pair of sneakers every 3 years or so. She doesn’t speak English. He bought her an iPhone to talk directly but she doesn’t like the keyboard because of her long fingernails. She can’t talk directly to him on the computer because the agency owns the laptop and monitors activity.
He’s spent $250,000 to $300,000 on “dating” on these sites. He claims he’s a millionaire so the money is no object.
Friends of David appear, say their piece, then disappear.
Cesar appears. David had talked to Maria years ago. Said she was high maintenance.
Yolanda and Usman join in. Usman has poor connection. Usman leaves.
A wild Tom appears. Tom compliments Yolanda’s weight loss. Says he’s not hitting on her, just complimenting her.
Tom doesn’t watch much of the show. Says David is his “fast forward couple”.
Cesar says he visited Maria. Maria wasn’t happy he showed up. But she met him, they took photos, she asked to see his phone and he realized later she deleted the photos. They spent 10 days together, he got a couple of pecks on the cheek and lips? But no intimacy. Specified no tongue. Maria was “pissed off” that he showed up, refused to meet Cesar if the cameras were there. Wanted him to buy her a $500 pair of shoes and $300 dinner.
Tom asks if he packed the chocolate panties. Cesar said he took the beaded candy ones.
Yolanda said Cesar DMd her and left his phone number. Cesar says Yolanda is beautiful and that he “loves chocolate” with a Pervy laugh. But he says he was just reaching out as friends. Shaun asks Cesar if he DMs Tom. Tom confirms that he did, and that the alumni reach out to each other.
Shaun asks Yolanda if she would date Cesar, she replies with an emphatic no.
David went back to Ukraine and met Lana. They kissed, no other intimacy. He proposed, she accepted (they show clips.) Lana is still on the dating sites. David is still on the dating sites because Lana is. Lana is still on the site because that’s where her only friends are, David basically describes her as a shut in with no friends.
At one point later in the show he drops the bombshell “love has nothing to do with it.”
Ed appears. He’s holding Teddy (against the dog’s will) on his lap. Ed shouts into his mic. He yells repeatedly about David being scammed for the better part of 18 minutes.
David gets excitable. Yells about this being bullshit. Yells at Tom that Darcey was still talking to other guys.
The current status of the relationship? David thinks they’re not together. He hasn’t communicated with Lana in 6 days. But their engagement hasn’t been broken. So they’re engaged but no longer together?
Lana refuses to participate because she’s getting hate mail from guys who have seen the show accusing her of being a scammer.
Stephanie appears.
Stephanie says she thinks it’s disgusting that Lana is being discussed like she’s a commodity. Points out that their relationship is transactional. David and Ed are screaming at each other over her. Stephanie Commends David for not worrying about spending $100,000 while Ed freaked out about spending $2.
A clip of David proposing to Lana with a prop fake ring shows. David says the jeweler advises not buying a real diamond because he didn’t know her ring size. Says she wants to choose her own ring.
Return to Ed and David arguing.
Usman appears.
David is getting heated.
Bottom Line: David’s retiring to move to Ukraine, but started the K1 process.
Shaun wraps the segment with David still arguing at the 3-hour mark. Shaun leaves (possibly to drink heavily - I would be if I was her.) I forgot to note that at some point Tom made a remark to Ed about him not being able to see his toes. It was a joke, but went completely missed by everyone else.
David, Ed, Stephanie and Usman chit chat. Usman sings a bit.
Part 2: Yolanda
We resume at 3:30 with Yolanda.
Yolanda had the flu at the beginning of December. She was in a coma for a month and was on a ventilator for 3 weeks. Her kidneys and liver were failing. Her doctor now believes she had Covid-19.
She did not hear from Williams during that time. She heard from him just a couple of months ago. She didn’t tell him about her coma, he was talking about his aunt dying so it “didn’t come up.”
He didn’t reach out directly, he went through “sweetberry” (?) on Instagram to ask if he could contact her again.
Yolanda’s daughter and a PI the daughter hired join in. PI says the accounts have ties to Nigerian scammers.
Usman joins. He knows nothing about Nigerian scammers, doubts they’re Nigerian.
Usman leaves. Darcey joins. She’s wearing a platinum blonde wig, primping a bit, trying to center herself on the bed she’s sitting on. She’s nodding along to absolutely nothing, shaking her head and smiling periodically like she’s involved in a totally different conversation than we are seeing.
Daughter and PI leave. Shaun asks Darcey what she thinks about Yolanda and Williams. Darcey goes into a spiel about being a target and people on IG preying on her. Starts talking about Jesse and Tom. Says she spent a lot of money on Jesse, says she helped Tom financially and bought him clothes and gifts. Goes into a tangent of non-specific items, won’t provide a direct answer on how much she spent but finally claims she spent $2000 on Tom.
Erika appears.
Shaun tries to get back on the topic of Yolanda and Willams. Shaun asks Erika about her opinion on The Williams mystery IG account and the blackmail.
Darcey uses that opportunity to talk about being targeted by a “network of people” that was calculated by “people in different countries to target certain people around the world.”
“Maybe Nigeria was a part of it, Maybe England was a part of it”. After Tom, Darcey says she met someone who targeted her, says it was a couple she knew and Tom was a part of it, says IP addresses traced to Nottingham and there’s a network of people targeting women around the world.
Darcey claims her second time in Amsterdam she was robbed while shopping after Jesse told her to leave her passport if she was going out shopping. Later says pickpocketed. Implies that the robbery was a setup by Jesse.
Shaun tries to redirect the subject back to Yolanda and Williams.
Lisa appears.
Lisa jumps right in with her expertise about Yahoo Boys, G-Men and grooming people. Darcey drops off and Usman reappears.
Lisa’s gravelly voice takes on a fake Nigerian accent as they yell “baby love” at each other.
Lisa goes on about her social media expertise. Explains the three different cultures of Nigeria. She tells Yolanda to join the Facebook Group SSA: Scamming Scammers Action that Lisa is a big part of.
They convince Yolanda to try to call Williams on speakerphone. No answer.
Lisa is also an expert in African and Nigerian accents FYI.
Erika leaves. David reappears.
Lisa dominates the conversation. Keeps recounting conversations and events of hackings and stuff.
Lisa starts talking about Blood Rituals. Sacrifices. Money rituals. Voodoo dolls. Kidnappings. Killing people to bring luck in scamming people. They believe in black magic and juju. Lisa and Usman keep interrupting each other. Usman has never heard of this. Lisa insists this is real. Go to SSA on Facebook, all the proof is there.
Yolanda, David and Shaun are stunned silent.
Usman is trying to fact check Lisa’s completely far-fetched theories. Lisa purses her beak.
Finally, Shaun redirects.
Yolanda says she’s done. If she hears from Williams again she’s done.
Yolanda is getting DMs all the time offering to FaceTime her. David tells her to go get her Groove back in Jamaica. Yolanda and David both get DMs encouraging them to hook up since they’re both in Vegas.
We are 5 hours 10 minutes in. Let’s see a clip! We see Lana before she met David. She’s at the gym. She’s walking around Kiev in a silver puffer jacket and Nikes. She using her iPhone (with her short nails) to take pictures. She’s shopping for makeup. She’s sipping a latte in a cafe while typing on her laptop. She’s talking to a friend on her iPhone. She talks about America. She knows that you can get married quickly in Las Vegas. She tells her friend she has an exciting day tomorrow “I’m meeting an American.” Her friend asks if he’s wealthy.
Shaun points out the inconsistencies in Lana’s apparent poverty and David’s understanding of her circumstances. David says “that’s not real”.
We spent the next 10 minutes or so with Yolanda, Usman, Lisa and Shaun trying to talk some sense into David. It doesn’t work.
Shaun leaves for a break.
Ash appears. We spend the next while discussing quarantine. Ash hadn’t heard about Yolanda being sick, his eyes get wide when he hears her coma tale.
They’re talking about lockdowns and restrictions and being able to go where you want. David thinks they’re talking about Ash being able to visit the US on his Australian passport.
Lisa’s ex-husband just got out of prison.
David lives in a rental house that’s being sold in a month.
Yolanda asks if people read their tweets.
Lisa has a stalker with 25 accounts. Lisa now has her phone number and address. She’s going to have her arrested and “put charges against her”.
David gets death threats.
Back to Yolanda and the Covid.
David leaves.
Tom returns. He asks how many bottles of lube Lisa and Usman used raw dogging it. She said none - I’m guessing she just peed on him a la Dinyell.
More R-rated banter. Lisa tells Tom to ask about Usman refusing to join the mile high club.
Ash looks stunned into silence. Maybe a bit frightened. He’s retreated to his nothing box.
Usman tries to explain about the 70%, that it’s a B and a compliment. Tom asks why she paid twice the going rate for a goat.
Lots of goat talk. Peeing goat talk. Showering the goat. Walking in sandals through mud and goat shit.
Tom makes a crack about not being the only cast members showering with animals. Ash asks about Ed showering with Rosemarie’s father? Then his feed goes out.
Lisa starts talking about gross food. Tom are goat brain in Albania. Lisa starts everything with “Usman, tell them about the time...” then just talks over him to tell the story herself.
Stephanie appears.
Ed appears.
Usman leaves. Lisa tells them about the armed convoy everywhere they went. Ed wants to know about the goat. More goat tales.
7 hour 10 minute mark.
Part 3: Lisa and Usman
Shaun is back with Lisa and Usman. We lose Usman.
Lisa had surgery.
She hurt her baby toe before going to Nigeria. Ruptured a blood vessel. It swelled up in Africa. Returned to the US with a dead/dying toe. Got infected, went gangrenous, was amputated.
Usman returns.
The next segment is insufferable.
Usman says Lisa calls him a N***** frequently. Lisa screams about opening a can of worms.
Usman asks if American women are all like this.
Lisa and Usman are married but keep blocking each other.
Lisa is Usman’s first serious relationship.
Lisa freaks out about women on Usman’s comments and in his DMs.
Says she’s seen the other girls Usman dated, they’re “3 times my size”.
They fight about Trish Playtas.
Lisa talks over Usman. Yells, curses, threatens.
Enter Giant and Aba (?) after 25 minutes of toxic bullshit.
Lisa talks about getting “gangbanged”. (I think she means ganged up on, but she’s so cringe who can tell.)
Lisa has a screaming match. Hangs up because she was “mistreated and disrespected”.
Enter Lisa’s friend Nikki.
Nikki screams about disrespect for the next forever. Lisa returns.
There’s endless raspy screeching about bitches, clowns, motherfuckers and more disrespect. Fuck you. Fuck outta here.
Shaun loses all control.
Aba and Nikki scream at each other some more.
Shaun gives up. She is writing something just below the screen. I suspect it’s her resignation letter.
Finally Shaun redirects the conversation. She brings up the polygamy.
If Lisa has an egg and can tote it, Usman doesn’t want another wife. If Lisa can’t squat and hatch Usman’s offspring, he will take another wife.
Cue Lisa’s expertise on polygamy.
Clip Roll: the night before the wedding, Lisa storms off and disrespects Usman’s brothers the night before the wedding.
Lisa cackles.
Avery and Ed appear.
Usman and Lisa keep arguing.
Shaun asks Avery’s perception. Avery asks “where is the love?” All she sees is them screaming over each other and assert themselves.
Before Lisa can respond Ed jumps in.
Lisa calls the kettle black and says Avery and Ed aren’t portrayed well.
Ed started to watch the show after he decided to be on it.
Ed compliments Usman for being calm and respectful and not using any foul words.
Lisa Cackles. Ed calls her a bull in a china shop “no disrespect”. Says he thought she was the definition of a narcissist, but says she’s actually the definition of delusional.
Lisa interrupts. Usman starts singing. Lisa and Ed scream over each other. Lisa tells Avery to shut up, says she went on Ed’s live drunk and making an ass of herself. Ed keeps screaming “delusional”. Lisa calls Avery a drunk. Avery tells Usman “not all American women are like that”, Lisa rebounds with “that’s why Ash dumped your ass.” Ed tells Usman there are many more nicer women.
Ed: she treated you like a piece of shit. She treated you like a slave.
Lisa: you are a piece of shit!
Ed: you made America Sick!
Lisa: Ed Fuck You! Fuck You!
Lisa: you abused Rose to go on this show because no fucking other woman would! You fucking used her (x 5). Shut the fuck up.
More screaming over each other.
Usman begs Ed to calm down.
Lisa: you’re going to let this fucking pervert who’s got charges for sexual harassment... you’re going to let this idiot come at me with the fucking charges he’s got? This fucking pervert has been grooming women. The women are coming out of the woodwork saying Ed has molested them, he’s groomed them, and god only knows what the fuck else he did to them.
More screaming.
Ed: the internet is fake!
Lisa: Harry (producer) remove these two right now!
Lisa calls them Thing 1 and Thing 2 and demands Harry remove them.
Ed gets cut.
Lisa continues to scream at Avery about glass houses.
Tom appears.
Usman is yelling now.
Shaun tries to gain control.
Tom: I was nervous delivering that letter to Darcey but coming in to this conversation is wild!
Shaun brings up the polygamy subject again.
Lisa might move to Nigeria for The Other Way.
Shaun disappears.
Avery drops.
Lisa says “Tom, this is all for show. It’s a dog and horse, pony show I call it.”
Tom blows smoke up her ass. His idea of love is apparently jealousy, anger and disrespect. He says it’s obvious they love each other because apparently only people truly in love can be that hateful and vicious and angry to each other.
Shaun is back. Darcey appears. Usman is singing. Darcey is swaying to Soja Boy, slurring, “do it big! Lisa, Be the queen!”
Darcey’s been in the sauce.
Usman tells Lisa to cover her bra.
More second wife talk.
Tom asks a question about what kind of second wife Usman would have. Darcey says something. Shaun asks Lisa a question. Usman freaks out and screams “Tom asked me a question, let me answer the question”. This leads to Lisa screaming at Shaun about disrespecting Usman, screams at the producer “you better tell this hostess to shut her mouth” shut up! Shut up!”
Usman keeps yelling. Shaun trying to calm everyone.
Lisa: Barb! Barb! Barb! Do you hear me? It’s time to cut her now! Barb! Cut her now! Barb! Cut the fucking thing, cut it now! She’s disrespecting Usman! Fucking stop it! Stop it barb! Fuck off!
Darcey looks like a confused bobble head.
Lisa hangs up.
Usman and Darcey talk about Trish Playtas.
Darcey: things are don’t differently in America, I’ve been in the entertainment industry way before Tom, way before Jesse.
Usman starts to explain going live with Trish.
Lisa returns.
Part 4: Wrap Ups and “where does your relationship stand?”
Shaun turns to Darcey and Tom, asks where the future of their relationship is. Lisa and Usman respond loudly, not letting them talk.
Finally, Lisa and Usman are gone.
Tom: friends maybe blah blah blah great mom, good person, wish you the best.
Darcey: my journey, my daughters, my brother who passed blah blah blah don’t want toxic negativity
Ash and Avery return: same question
Ash is worried about his hair being cut off on the screen.
Ash started the journey with the intent to propose. Says he loves her. Breaking up was the hardest thing. Future is going to be looking after his family.
Ash answers the question in a concise, straight forward manner.
Just kidding. He uses a lot of words to absolutely avoid answering anything.
Avery says this is a hard question to ask someone who just separated. She trails off. I think... I don’t... I wanted... honestly...
Erika and Stephanie return: where do you stand?
Not even friends. Can they ever be friends?
Stephanie says best case is friends from afar.
Erika says they’ve been friends and fought many many times. She came in today wanting to speak and wasn’t able to do that, but doesn’t hold any hate. It’s going to be hard to see any of this in a positive light.
Erika didn’t get a change to express that she took a big step coming out to her parents then Stephanie dumped her the next morning.
Stephanie came out to her mom too apparently, but it wasn’t like Erika’s coming out (receptive and kind).
Pick up lines:
Asking what they’ve been doing during the quarantine, will air at the beginning of the show.
(Erika makes earrings!)
Shaun has to rephrase the question to Stephanie to ask specifically about... HER ILLNESS!
Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Yolanda wrap up: no more online dating. She’s going to meet men at the market or the casino. Old school.
Ed wrap up: who cares.
Ok. I guess we do.
Shaun asks about the shower. I just can’t listen to him anymore. Then she asks about the first night they were intimate. I’m going to barf.
Ed takes full responsibility for “not the things I did, but the way I did them”. Rose is mad at him right now. She wanted to reconcile February 9.
Ed is taking a break from dating (sorry ladies!) but Rose taught him to love again and “she didn’t destroy me like my first marriage did.”
His mom is moving in with him. But she’s a nurse so hasn’t moved in yet. Ed’s mom is a nurse caring for a young child with a tracheostomy.
Ed sucks, but a round of applause for Mother Ed is deserved.
David wrap up:
David is going to retire earlier than planned because of the recession resulting from the quarantine.
Shaun asks about the first kiss.
David says something about bowling. He bowls 4 strikes with Lana.
The girls in Ukraine love bowling but don’t get to do that. So he takes them. He bets kisses for every strike he bowls.
Lana is upset over the publicity from the show. Gets physically ill in front of the camera.
If she won’t come to the US or dumps him, he will live part time in the Ukraine - 3 months at a time - to continue dating women there.
It’s over. Thank God.
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Part 42.

There have been a lot of big changes recently.
6658.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Steve Jobs being the first person to say "Good artists copy. Great artists steal." instead of Pablo Picasso?
6659.(Music Lyrics change.)"She's a killer Queen. Gunpowder. Turpentine."/"She's a killer Queen. Gunpowder. Guillotine."/"She's a killer Queen. Gunpowder. Gelatine."(Other lyrics?)(Anything else off?)
6660.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Wallace Broecker dying earlier than February 18, 2019?
6661.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Lee Radiziwill dying earlier than February 15, 2019?(Do the Ls in her name look off?)łł
6662.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember The Doors Of The 21st Century not being a thing?(Ian Ashbury/Ian Astbury)–Krieger
6663.(Event name change.)Lalapalooza/Lolapalooza/Lollapalooza(Other spellings?)(Does the logo look off?)
6664.(Movie Quote change.)"You're gonna be one badass motherfucker."/"You're gonna be a bad motherfucker."(Other quotes?)
6665.(Product Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Tampico being normal?(Anything else off?)
6666.(Real Life Quote change.)"I am not a crook."/"I'm not a crook."(Anything else off?)
6667.(Movie Quote change.)"I love him something awful."/"I love him awful."(Does the movie logo keep changing?)
6668.(R&B Group name change.)The Staples Singers/The Staple Singers(Do any of their logos look off?)(Anything else off?)(Does the Soul Train logo look off?)(Many remembered spellings of Abbott and all the other logos have changed.)(SiriusXM logos all have off letters.)(Most Capitol Records logos have connected letters.)(Soya Sauce/Soy Sauce)(Other spellings?)(Soya/Soy)(Twitter logo bird has changed.)(Dolly from Moonraker now has bows in her hair.)(The Bare Necessities lyrics keeps changing.)(Terrence McKenna/Terence McKenna)(Anything else off?)(Yubo logo has off letters.)(The Gifted logo has off letters.)(Quanta(Quantum?)Magazine website logo has off letters.)(The Conversation website logo has off letters.)(Book predicts a lot of Donald Trump related stuff.)(Givology logo and name keep changing.)(Male fruit flies look for alcohol when rejected.)(Frost And Nixon/Frost/Nixon)(Other names?)(Anything else off?)(Seatle, Washington/Seattle, Washington)(Other spellings?)(New Dylan album and a song moved onto it.)(Have you heard of Mimi Pond?)(Snownados now exist.)(Famous Birthdays logo has off logo.)(Android logos all keep changing.)(Timothy Chalamet/Timothée Chalamet)(Was Timothée and anything similar to it never an acceptable spelling of Timothy?)(Vector Vest logo has connected and off letters.)(Tess Daily/Tess Daly)(Lots of album cover logos have changed.)(Kissed By A Rose by Seal keeps changing.)(Other remembered spellings of Diana Rigg that haven't been mentioned yet?)(Radio station logos keep changing.)(Did John Lennon say the Good Artists Copy quote?)(Anything else off?)(Old raven related quote changed.)(Abba song lyrics are changing.)(Water polo was a thing.)(Homeless shelters charge people to stay.)(Didn't Ric Flair die?)(Spider that looks like David Bowie.)(Tasty Freeze/Tastee-Freez)(Anything else off?)(Hughes Airwest logo looks off.)(Altec Lansing is off.)(We're The Millers If Anyone Asks?)(Red Red Wine by Neil Diamond has changed or was it UB40?)(Was Zangief spelled differently?)(Sherbet Crayola or Pink Sherbet?)(MC Hammer's pants in U Can't Touch This are now red instead of yellow.)(Better Help website logo has off letters.)(Weird colored skies.)(Neurophen/Nurofen)(Footloose lyrics keep changing.)(Harpy eagles now exist.)(Dip Dab logo is merged.)(Derek Hatton is now alive.)(Sherbet Lemons/Lemon Sherbets)(Maynards Bassetts logo and all the subtexts have merged or off letters.)(Sherbet pronunciation keeps changing.)(Did what Sorbet and Sherbet used to be switch with each other?)(Is the pronunciation of Sorbet off?)(Fred from Scooby-Doo lost his Adam's Apple and his hairstyle has changed.)(Velma from Scooby-Doo has larger breasts, has different shoes, has knee stockings and looks less plain and her eye shape looks off.)(Scooby Doo's voice sounds slighty deeper and easier to understand and he no longer ends every episode with "Scooby Dooby Doo!".)(All the new moons and names for them.)(Interesting video below.)(Russia sold Alaska to America and Canada didn't.)(Video below.)(More new blood types.)(Video below.)(The Challenge: War Of The Worlds logo is off.)(Interesting video below.)(Tarantula with horn on its back discovered.)(The Munsters spelling keeps changing.)(Lots of early colored photos and videos.)(Lots of weird eye colored cartoons.)(Big Native American book change.)(Golden possums?)(Bamm-Bamm now has a green club.)(Elvis quote keeps changing.)("One of us" quotes all keep changing.)Lots of weird eye colored cartoons now.)(Rana brand logo keeps changing.)(Timothy Leary radio quote keeps changing.)(Purple and weird solid colored corn.)(Almost perfectly straight bananas.)(All Zillow logos keep changing.)(Giant supposedly extinct bees exist and they were found to still be alive.)(Lots of weird new stuff.)(Juicy Fruits/Juicy Fruit)(Were MC Hammer's pants a color other than yellow or red in U Can't Touch This?)(Baobab flower?)(Ficcus tree or plant?)(Lots of weird new changes.)(Lots of new logo changes.)(Snoopy's feet now have lines on them.)(Lots of new religious studies and philosophies.)(Sayeth to Quoteth raven quote change.)(Woman rubs period blood on face to show "beauty".)(Weird new large fish species discovered washed up on beach.)(Go Wireless! logo letters are touching.)(Wood's Boots logo is off.)(Frank Communications logo is off.)(Foreign Accent Syndrome?)(More changes to lots of stuff.)(Multiple colors for tangerines?)(The Godfather "Offer" quote keeps changing.)(Saturn's rings keep changing.)(I Feel Love by Donna Summer lyrics have changed.)(Matramony/Matrimony)(Other spellings?)(3D music systems in the 1950's.)(Did there used to be light brown M&Ms and not blue ones?)("The Suicide Tree"?)(Taiwanese leopard spotted for first time since 1983.)(Oridisia cats?)(Deer with with lots of thick antlers?)(Airplanes having engines above the wings?)(Disney parks in Shanghai, Hong Kong, Paris and Hawaii?)(You can get a vegan chocolate penis delivered to your door.)(Congo/Kongo)(Was the latter not acceptable?)(Do you remember the Badlands rock band not existing?)(Do you remember Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft by Carpenters not existing?)(Electric fire clams now exist.)(Many outfits Cesar Romero wore as the Joker in the original Batman show have changed.)(Sri Lankan elwphants now exist.)(Asian elephants now exist.)(Indian elephants now exist.)(Lots of phantom and new geography.)(Shoes made with grass.)(Scandals made out of Trump's contradictory tweets.)(Underwear you can wear for weeks without washing.)(Polyamorous woman has husband, fiancé, and two boyfriends.)(Rainbow wasps now exist.)(Anything else off?)(The Riddler now doesn't always wear all green.)(Anything else off?)(Equifax logo has connected and off letters.)(Are any of the outfits in Labyrinth off in any way?)(Headphones in the 1910's.)(Did Daphne not wear pink stockings ever?)(Anything else off?)(Anything else about the JetBlue name, spelling, or logo?)(Interesting video below.)(Did Marcus Dean Fuller, David Niven, and Barry Nelson never portray James Bond in any movie?)(Anything else off?)(On The Case With Paula Zahn logo has off letters.)(Systane logo has off letters.)(Juicy/Jucee juice brand and is the logo off?)(Other spellings?)(Bananas don't peel as easy or in the same place in some cases now.)(Flocks of birds getting much larger.)(Did Nabisco saltine crackers always say Premium?)(Anything else off?)(Picturephones were now a thing.)("Keep on dancing. Gotta keep on dancing.", "He will visit.", or "Evil visit." song lyrics by The Prodigy?)(Anything else off?)(More Teletubbies changes.)(The rainbow grapes and multiple colored tangerines changes are fake at least for now.)(Fracture printing logo has off letters.)(Anything else off?)(Didn't King Kong Bundy pass away years before March 4, 2019?)(Anything else off?)(Holidays that pop out of nowhere.)(Herby: Fully Loaded/Herbie: Fully Loaded)(Anything else off?)(Tommy CoppeTommie Copper)(Anything else off?)(Blue macaw parrots now existed.)(Frozen ice balls of Lake Michigan.)(Aspiration logo has off letters.)(Putting photos on guns during WW2?)(Any other time?)(Is the number of days in a year off?)(Walking trees and other walking plants?)(Haribo Tangtastics/Haribo Tangfastics)(Other spellings?)(Lots of logo changes recently.)(OdorBan/OdoBan)(Lambkins now exist.)(Lots of weird new sunfish.)(Lots of new ghost ice stuff.)(The Honky Tonk Man is just now being inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame.)(Redferrin/Redfin)(Is the logo off?)(Anything else off?)(Do you remember the Uncle Sam poster saying "We want you" instead of "I want you"?)(Fantatics app logo is off.)(Instaflex logo is off.)(Milly Vanilly/Milli Vanilli)(Do any of their logos look off?)(Saturn's rings keep changing.)(Lots of name changes.)(Do you remember somebody other than Frankie Valli singing Can't Take Off Of You?)(ASDA store brand products have connected letters.)(Interesting video.)(The Brady Girls Get Married now exists.)(Plants respond to pain similar to how we respond to pain.)(Lots of sexual orientation related changes.)(Your brain still works for a while after you die.)(Lots of app logo changes.)(Lots of commercial font changes.)(Ant-Man And The Wasp has connected letters.)(Westcott logo now looks like the old reality VW logo.)(Kyle JenneKylie Jenner)(Lots of weird names and name spellings.)(Poly-Fil(Poly-Fill?)logo has changed.)(Brother At Your Side logo has changed.)(Ayatollah Khamenei horrible quotes and other horrible quotes from this new reality.)(I Want You by Savage Garden lyrics have changed.)(Do any of their logos look off?)(India's poverty level keeps changing.)
6669.(Famous Hero name change.)Wild Bill Hitchcock/Wild Bill Hickok(Other spellings?)
6670.(Restaurant name change.)El Toritos/El Torito(Anything else off?)
6671.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember deer not being able to scream?(Anything else off?)
6672.(Song name change.)Let's Hear It For The Boys/Let's Hear It For The Boy(Are the lyrics off?)(Do any of her logos look off?)
6673.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember alligators and crocodiles not being able to be this big?
6674.(History change.)Do you remember Donald Trump not running for president in 2000?(Anything else off about what he's said about running for president or not?)
6675.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Cranial fissures now are sutures and fibrous, pulsing fontanelles, "flavor country" no longer existed, pineal eye is now a physical eye on outside of face of animals and some have 4 eyes, plain of jars, skara brae, manitol/malitol/maltitol, persistent pupillary membrane over eye in 20% of adult humans and also animals, helium superfluid has 0 viscosity and can't be contained, bacteria also make superfluids, California great flood of 1861 and 1862, ice disk, 1908 New York to Paris car race, atmospheric rivers, Chernobyl didn't shut down after 1986 disaster until 2000, animals still being able to thrive in Chernobyl, more geography changes, more US flag changes, female elephants have tusks called tushes and some male elephants are naturally born without tusks and elephants are apparently evolving not to have them at all, lots of weird sharks and weird stuff about sharks, bioluminescent lizards.)(Video below.)(Australian Geographic logo has connected letters.)(Release dates for everything changing.)(Lots of famous name spellings have drastically changed.)
6676.(Company Logo change.)Sunglasses Hut/Sunglass Hut
6677.(Paint name change.)Dulex/Dulux(Do any of the logos look off?)(Do any of the other things named Dulux look off?)
6678.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember James Darren dying?
6679.(Donut name change.)CrulleKruller(Was the former or the later not acceptable?)(Other spellings?)(Is the pronunciation off?)(Anything else off?)
6680.(Song name change.)The Point Of No Return/Point Of Know Return(Album too.)(Do any of their logos look off?)
6681.(Can't think of a title.)Have you heard of the Yosemite Firefall?
6682.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember sting jets not being a thing?
6683.(Fictional Character name change.)Hercules Poirot/Hercule Poirot(Other spellings?)
6684.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember Mumia Abu-Jamal being executed?(Anything else off?)
6685.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember sea creatures not being able to live or die in places far away from water such as rainforests?
6686.(Famous Actress name change.)Olivia Coleman/Olivia Colman(Was Colman never an acceptable spelling of Coleman?)
6687.(Company name change.)Harmon Kardon/harman/kardon(Anything else off?)
6688.(Famous Actress name change.)Beverly Owen/Beverley Owen(Was Beverley never an acceptable spelling of Beverly?)
6689.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember ice tsunamis not being a thing?
6690.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Uffington White Horse not being a thing?
6691.(Celebrity death cause change.)Do you remember James Horner dying from an illness instead of a plane crash?(Anything else off?)
6692.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the letters in Carvana being normal?
6693.(Product name change.)Gravy Granuals/Gravy Granules(Other spellings?)
6694.(Product name change.)Rizzla/Rizla(Anything else off?)
6695.(Product name change.)IWatch/iWatch(IPhone/iPhone)(IPad/iPad)(IPad/iPad)(IOS/iOS)(It keeps flipping.)
6696.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the credits in Goodfellas(Was the official GoodFellas and is the logo off?)being white instead of red?(Anything else off?)
6697.(Product name change.)Cindy/Sindy(Was Sindy never an acceptable spelling of Cindy?)
6698.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Casino Royale being the first James Bond film instead of Dr. No?(Anything else off?)
6699.(Spelling change.)Tender Hook/Tenterhook
Add-On: Do you remember Barbaar The Elephant or Barbar The Elephant instead of Babar The Elephant?
Add-On: Do you remember Gobstoppers instead of Gobstopper?
Add-On: Do you remember Big Bird's being yellow?(Anything else off?)
6700.(Product name change.)CD+CD-R(Any products with similar names off?)
6701.(Spelling change.)Bolognaise/Bolognese(Anything else off?)
6702.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes being set 8 years after instead of 10?
6703.(Spelling change.)Battle Ship/Battleship(War Ship/Warship)(Space Ship/Spaceship)(Battleships/Battleship board game)
6704.(Music Lyrics change.)"Ain't that a kick in the head."/"Ain't love like a kick in the head."(Anything else off?)
6705.(Spelling change.)Murial/Muriel/Mural
6706.(Spelling change.)Broach/Brooch
6707.(Company name change.)RyannaiRyanair(Other spellings?)
6708.(Phrase change.)Card Shark/Card Sharp
6709.(Movie name change.)The Wizard In Oz/The Wizard Of Oz(Dorthy/Dorothy)(Anything else about her name off?)(Somewhere Over The Rainbow/Over The Rainbow)
6710.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember food scented bath stuff not being a thing?
6711.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Geochanges, weird mushrooms, sharknado, orange eyes,(Denny's, USPS, Burger King, Sherwin-Williams, Motel 6, and AutoZone)are all tilting and off logos, naked mole rats don't die of old age, pleomorphism, new giant tortoise types discovered, more bioluminescent animals, more weird light pillars, north and south Atlantic Ocean, north and south Pacific Ocean, Antarctic scale worm and other weird worms, jewel beetles, weird whales and whale changes, earthquakes with negative magnitudes, Indonesian village corpses, more weird land formations, humans glow in visible light, DMT and it occurs naturally, more weird immortal animals, Colorado river toad, Earth's atmosphere goes past the moon, Sphinx cat breed/Sphynx cat breed, Sargasso Sea, poisonous birds.)(Video below.)
6712.(History change.)Do you remember virtual reality not going as far back as the 1950's?
6713.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember bears never existing in Africa?
6714.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember spiders not being capable of dragging animals like opossums anywhere on their own?
6715.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the dodo going extinct because humans ate them instead of other animals eating them?(Was it something else?)
6716.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Mister Ed being a different type or different colored horse?(Anything else off?)(Was it always in black & white or just colored?)
6717.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember something about this Mary Poppins song being different?
6718.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember André(Andre?)Previn dying before February 28, 2019?é_Previn
6719.(Song name change.)MacArthur's Park/MacArthur Park(Do any of his logos off?)(Anything else off?)
6720.(Famous Actor name change.)Timothy Chalamet/Timothée Chalamet(Were Timothee, Timothée, Timotheé, and Timothéé never acceptable spellings of Timothy?)ée_Chalamet
6721.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Gaël Montfils/Gaël Monfils(Other spellings?)ël_Monfils
6722.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Stan Warwrinka/Stan Wawrinka(Other spellings?)
6723.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Nick Kygrios/Nick Kyrgios(Other spellings?)
6724.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Gabriñe Muguruza/Garbiñe Muguruza(Other spellings?)ñe_Muguruza
6725.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Alizée Cornet/Alizé Cornet(Other spellings?)é_Cornet
6726.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Steffi Graff/Steffi Graf(Other spellings?)(Are there other weird Stephanie and Stefan spellings?)
6727.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Agnieszka Rodwańska/Agnieszka Radwańska(Other spellings?)ńska
6728.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Angelica KerbeAngelique Kerber(Other spellings?)(Are there other weird Angelica spellings?)
6729.(Famous Tennis Player name change.)Sabina Lisicki/Sabine Lisicki(Other spellings?)(Was she a brunette instead of blonde?)
6730.(Fictional Character name change.)Mitch Buchanon/Mitch Buchannon(Other spellings?)
6731.(Famous Basketball Player name change.)Joachim Noah/Joakim Noah(Other spellings?)
6732.(Country name change.)QuataQatar(Other spellings?)(Is the pronunciation off?)(Anything else off?)
6733.(Famous Basketball Player name change.)Paul Gasol/Pau Gasol(Other spellings?)(Was Pau never an acceptable spelling of Paul?)
6734.(Famous Race Car Driver name change.)Sebastien Vettel/Sebastian Vettel(Was Sebastien never an acceptable spelling of Sebastian?)(Are there other weird Sebastian spellings?)
6735.(Town name change.)Marinello, Italy/Maranello, Italy(Other spellings?)
6736.(Famous Basketball Player name change.)Derek Rose/Derrick Rose(Was Derrick never an acceptable spelling of Derek?)(Are there other weird spellings of Derek?)
6737.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Katherine Helmond dying earlier than February 23, 2019?
6738.(Company Logo change.)Do you remember the Spread logo being different?
6739.(History change.)Do you remember the Boeing 314 Clipper not being a thing?
6740.(History change.)Do you remember the hand mixer not being patented in 1856 and the first electric one not being invented in 1885?
6741.(Fictional Character appearance change.)Do you remember Jaws' teeth being different?
6742.(Fictional Company name change.)The Daily Bugle/Daily Bugle
6743.(Fictional Company name change.)The Daily Planet/Daily Planet
6744.(Slogan change.)"Nobody knows Easter better than Cadbury."/"Nobunny knows Easter better than Cadbury."
6745.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember Tracey(Tracy?)Gold dying a while back?(Was Tracey never an acceptable spelling of Tracy?)
6746.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Coca-Cola not using Coca leaves in their recipe ever and all their ingredients in their formula being secret?
6747.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember human bodies not reacting this way to things like leaf blowers?
6748.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember "My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!" being said more often throughout Scooby-Doo?(Do you remember Scooby Doo's real name being Scooby instead of Scoobert?)(Do you remember Scooby Doo not having any other relatives other than Scrappy Doo?)(Anything else off?)
6749.(Company name change.)Amtrack/Amtrak(Anything else off?)
6750.(History change.)Do you remember the White House never burning down ever?
6751.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember elephants never being able to cry?
6752.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember parrots never being able to take or get addicted to things like opium?
6753.(Famous Model name change.)Barbie Benton/Barbi Benton(Was Barbi never an acceptable spelling of Barbie?)
6754.(Famous Actor name change.)Bobby J. Thompson/Bobb'e J. Thompson(Other spellings?)(Was Bobb'e never an acceptable spelling of Bobby?)(Are there other weird Bobby spellings?)
Add-On: Do you remember Edwin or Erich Schrödinger?(Other spellings?)(Were Caffe and Caffé never acceptable spellings of Café?)ödinger
6755.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Emre Belezoğlu/Emre Belözoğlu(Other spellings?)özoğlu
6756.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Gerald Piqué/Gerard Piqué(Other spellings?)é
6757.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Felipe Luís/Filipe Luís(Other spellings?)ís
6758.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Carlos Valderama/Carlos Valderrama(Other spellings?)
6759.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)René Huiguita/René Higuita(Other spellings?)é_Higuita
6760.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Graham LeSaux/Graeme Le Saux(Other spellings?)
6761.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Ferenc Puszkás/Ferenc Puskás(Other spellings?)ás
6762.(Famous Actress name change.)Stephanie Powers/Stefanie Powers(Other spellings?)
6763.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember Dean Stockwell dying a while back?
6764.(Song name change.)Believe/Still Believe(Are the lyrics off?)(Do any of her logos look off?)(Anything else off?)
6765.(Girl Group name change.)Destiny Child/Destiny's Child(Do any of their logos look off?)(Were they never kniwn as Girl's Tyme?)(Were the members originally sisters instead of just being members?)'s_Child
6766.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember One Man Gang dying?
6767.(Spelling change.)Twighlight/Twillight/Twilight(Other spellings?)
6768.(Famous Actress name change.)Patsy Kenzit/Patsy Kensit(Other spellings?)
6769.(Famous Actress name change.)Leslie-Ann Down/Lesley-Anne Down(Other spellings?)(Was Lesley never an acceptable spelling of Leslie?)
6770.(Famous Actress name change.)Tiffany Thiessen/Tiffani Thiessen(Other spellings?)(Was Tiffani never an acceptable spelling of Tiffany?)
6771.(Famous Producer name change.)Stephen J. Canell/Stephen J. Cannell(Other spellings?)
6772.(Famous Actor name change.)Patrick McGohan/Patrick McGoohan(Other spellings?)
6773.(Famous Actor name change.)Martin Scorcese/Martin Scorsese(Other spellings?)
6774.(Famous Actress name change.)Grey DeLeslie/Grey DeLisle(Other spellings?)
6775.(Famous Actor name change.)Bill Faggerbake/Bill Fagerbakke(Other spellings?)(Was him name pronounced differently?)
6776.(Famous Actor name change.)William Stylers/William Salyers(Other spellings?)
6777.(Candy name change.)Strawberry Flavour Laces/Strawberry Flavour Lances(Anything else off about Lances?)
6778.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Cole Sprouse being less popular than Dylan Sprouse when The Suote Life Of Zack & Cody was on and now?
6779.(Celebrity death that didn't happen.)Do you remember Paul Young dying a while back?(Anything about him in Desperate Housewives off?)(Anything else off?)
6780.(Famous Cook name change.)Rachel Ray/Rachael Ray(Other spellings?)(Was Rachael never an acceptable spelling of Rachel?)
6781.(Famous Fashion Designer name change.)Vivian Westwood/Vivienne Westwood(Other spellings?)(How do you remember Vivian being spelled in general?)
6782.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)César Aczpilicueta/César Azpilicueta(Other spellings?)ésar_Azpilicueta
6783.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Jermaine Defoe/Jermain Defoe(Other spellings?)(Was Jermain never an acceptable spelling of Jermaine?)
6784.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember these things being different or not a thing?(Ellora caves, petra and little petra, shrovetide, calcio storico, American Kidney Foundation/American Kidney Fund, Chichén Itzá, black sea under river, pattern on doe's back and other weird patterns on deer, more friendly wild animals, Michael Jackson dropped 50 feet to stage in an accident, Isaiah 11:8 changes again, more on harpy eagle, Ford logo is now tilting, Honda logo has changed again, polycephalic everything, weird elephant parts, gaboon viper that moves like a caterpillar, pattern change on raccoon and panda eyes, naked foal syndrome, more geography changes, Great lakes keep changing, guy with large hairy birthmark and two children with weird birth defects, weird looking cat with white coloration, 12 finger family, Neanderthals may have been smarter than we think, more anatomy changes, Quetzacoatl(Was it spelled differently?), rabbit without hair, when student doctors remove your appendix, 1939 ghost Pontiac, Marie Curie and everything about her, shark with bioluminescent nose, mice can sing.)(Video below.)
6785.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember transgender people not being able to give birth?
6786.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember little Grand Canyon-like structures not being a thing?
6787.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember teacup pigs being their own separate species and not just being very small and/or underfed pigs?
6788.(Theme Song Lyrics change.)"I love Wisconsin!"/"Hello Wisconsin!"(Was it Kelso or Eric that said it and not Hyde?)
6789.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember bumblebees not being endangered?
6790.(Movie name change.)The Naked Gun 33 1/2: The Final Insult/Naked Gun 33 1/2: The Final Insult⅓:_The_Final_Insult
6791.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember 1950's breakfast stations not being a thing?
6792.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember the first mall in America not opening as early as 1956?(Anything else off?)
6793.(Phrase change.)"Not your circus. Not your clowns."/"Not my circus. Not my clowns."(Anything else off?),_not_my_monkeys
6794.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Alaska not having a rainforest?(Were there no rainforests in North America at all?)(Anything else off?)
6795.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Della Duck not existing?
6796.(Fictional Character name change.)Do you remember Inspector Gadget's real name being Don Brown or John Brown?
6797.(Music Lyrics change.)"Things in common?"/"Thing in common?"("Cuz opposites attract."/"'Cause opposites attract.")(Anything else off?)(Do any of her logos look off?)
6798.(Logo change.)Do you remember the Fair Use logo not being connected?
6799.(Music Lyrics change.)"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?"/"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?"(Anything else off?)(Do any of their logos look off?)
6800.(Comic Series name change.)Calvin And Hobbs/Calvin And Hobbes(Anything else off?)
6801.(Abbreviation change.)Auto Immune Deficiency Syndrome/Aquired Immune Deficiency Virus
6802.(T.V. Shiw name change.)Beverly Hills 92010/Beverly Hills, 90210,_90210
6803.(Famous Actress name change.)Ellen Paige/Ellen Page
6804.(Famous Director name change.)Howard Hawk/Howard Hawks
6805.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Mark Clattenberg/Mark Clattenburg(Other spellings?)
6806.(Famous Referee name change.)Pierluigi Colina/Pierluigi Collina(Other spellings?)
6807.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Phillipe Coutinho/Philippe Coutinho(Other spellings?)(How do you remember Philippe being spelled in general?)
6808.(Famous Soccer Player name change.)Jessy Lingard/Jesse Lingard(Other spellings?)(How do you remember Jesse being spelled in general?)
6809.(Famous Singer name change.)Lauren Hill/Lauryn Hill(Other spellings?)
6810.(Famous Singer name change.)Phil Colins/Phil Collins(Other spellings?)(How do you remember Collin or Collins being spelled in general?)
6811.(Famous Composer name change.)Wolfgang Amadeus MozaWolfgang Amadeus Mozart(Other spellings?)
6812.(Theme Song Lyrics change.)"Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed."/"Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed ."
6813.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Jam Session by Heavy D and The Notorious B.I.G. not existing?
6814.(Can't think of a to title.)Do you remember the music video for Puffin On Blunts And Drankin' Tanqueray not existing?
6815.(Can't think of a title.)Do you remember Barbie only having a first name and not a middle or last one?
6816.(Celebrity death date change.)Do you remember Jan-Michael Vincent dying earlier than February 10, 2019?
6817.(State name change.)Okhlahoma/Oklahoma(Other spellings?)
6818.(City name change.)Passadena, California/Pasadena, California(Other spellings?),_California
6819.(City name change.)Norwitch/Norwich(Other spellings?)(Multiple places.)
6820.(Town name change.)Ipswitch/Ipswich(Other spellings?)
6821.(Village name change.)Amytiville, New York/Amityville, New York(Other spellings?),_New_York
6822.(Famous Actor name change.)Rob SteigeRod Steiger(Other spellings?)
6823.(Famous Actress name change.)Judy Gardland/Judy Garland(Other spellings?)
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What's happening around town (Wed, May 22nd - Tue, May 28th)

Oklahoma City's event list.


Wednesday, May 22nd

  • 2019 Big 12 Championship Session 1 (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th The Phillips 66 Big 12 Baseball Championship will be held at the Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City this May. The…
  • Amigo The Devil (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Amigo The Devil with JoeMyside This show is all ages. Tickets are $12 in advance at, charge by phone 18669661777, purchase hard copy...
  • 🍴 Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
  • Benefits of Gardening for Seniors (Edmond Senior Center - Edmond) Start Time: 10:00am Joann Moorehead will discuss basic benefits of gardening and share ways to help prevent injury by preparing yourself before you garden and using the proper tools.
  • 🎓 Botanical Balance FREE Yoga (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:45pm Botanical Balance FREE YOGA presented by Fowler Toyota, sponsored by Tinker Federal Credit Union and Stephenson Cancer Center Tuesdays, 5:45 pm and Saturdays, 8 am Check in at the Visitor Center and find out location which changes depending on the season Instructors provided by This Land Yoga Bring a mat, water, and an “open mind”…
  • Cats (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th You've heard the rage, now see it live at the Oklahoma City Civic Center Music Hall. The record-breaking show…
  • 🍴 Dope Poetry Night (ICE Event Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Every Wednesday night at the Ice Event Center Sports Bar and Grill located at the heart of Oklahoma City! Sign ups begin at 7pm and show begins at 7:30pmish. Free Admission! Free vendor set up! Bar Restaurant
  • 🎨 PowHERful Lunch Series: Achieving Your Vision (Film Row - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:30am Oklahoma Women's Coalition hosts a powHERful summer lunch series aimed to educate, engage, and encourage growth through the experiences of executives,...
  • Reading Wednesdays, Ages 2-5 (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:30am Reading Wednesdays Every Wednesday, 9:30 am The Garden Classroom FREE Best for ages 2 to 5 Bring your youngster for story time each Wednesday at 9:30 am. Books are nature-themed and selected based on the season. We’ll begin with an interactive song and children will enjoy creating a small craft after the story. Join us the last Wednesday of…
  • 😂 Sam Norton (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th
  • SINGO Wednesdays (Lower Bricktown - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm Beat the midweek hump with the new bar game that everyone is talking about! SINGO is a new and exciting musical spin on the traditional game of Bingo. Instead of listening for a number, players are listening to their favorite music. Enjoy 1/2 price domestic drafts & discounted appetizers! Plus we will be giving prizes each night to the winners.…
  • 🏆 Wild Wednesdays (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Enjoy more winning every Wednesday in May when Wild Wednesdays get started from 6 to 10pm. Just play the Remington Park Casino games while using your...

Thursday, May 23rd

  • 2019 Big 12 Championship Session 1 (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th The Phillips 66 Big 12 Baseball Championship will be held at the Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City this May. The…
  • Ariana Grande: Sweetener World Tour (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm TIME CHANGED FROM 7:30PM TO 8:00PM.
    To provide the best experience for fans: NO Cameras or Recording Devices (cell phones with cameras are permitted). Each fan may have one bag. All bags must be 100% clear. Bags must be made of Clear plastic, vinyl, or PVC. Bags must not exceed 12" x 6" x 12". Or A one gallon re-sealable clear freezer bag…
  • Art Adventures (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Start Time: 10:30am
  • Cats (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th You've heard the rage, now see it live at the Oklahoma City Civic Center Music Hall. The record-breaking show…
  • 🎭 The Comedy Magic & Mentalism of Max Krause 13+ (Max's Magic Theatre - OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:15pm 13+ Ages
  • Concerts in the Park (Hafer Park - Edmond) Thru Thu, Aug 15th Hafer Park transforms into concert central Thursday evenings in the summer. Head to Edmond for the weekly Concerts in the…
  • 🎓 Del City Graduation (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Del City High School Graduation - May 23rd, 2019 at 7:00 PM
  • 🎨 Film Society's Critic's Choice Event: The Mule (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Join Brandy McDonnell, Features Entertainment Reporter and film critic for The Oklahoman, and Michael J. Anderson, OKCMOA’s Director of Curatorial...
  • Joshua Ray Walker (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • OKC Legislative Reception (Boathouse District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Join the Oklahoma Women’s Coalition for a fundraising reception in Oklahoma City. This special event is an opportunity to celebrate the legislative efforts, successes, and progress made during the 2019 legislative session on behalf of women and girls in Oklahoma. During the event, the Women’s Coalition will be honoring recipients of the…
  • On the Vineyard Wine Tasting & Concert (The Jones Assembly - Oklahoma City) Kick off your Memorial weekend at The Jones Assembly during the inaugural On the Vineyard event, featuring…
  • The Other Favorites & Reina del Cid (The Root - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm The Other Favorites is the long time duo project of Carson McKee and Josh Turner. Perhaps best known for their performances on YouTube, which have garnered millions of views. The Other Favorites are now based out of Brooklyn, NY. Together, Turner and McKee bring their shared influences of folk, bluegrass and classic rock into a modern framework;…
  • 😂 Sam Norton (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th
  • 🏆 Three Thousand Thursday Thrills (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm Thursday play in the Remington Park Casino gets a little richer in May. Just use your Club Remington Card when you play in the casino any day of the...
  • The Truth About Home Health and In-Home Care (Francis Tuttle Technology Center North Campus - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Everyone knows what services home health agencies provide, right? Well, as it turns out, most people think they know, but often what they know is wrong. Just like many healthcare services, home health has changed significantly over the years. In fact, some agencies that are perceived as home health are not healthcare organizations at all —…
  • 🎭 WE Are The Asteroid and Cani Sciorri (Italy) / The Costanzas (Red Brick Bar - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm NO COVER!! WE Are The Asteroid and Cani Sciorri (Italy) The Costanzas 21 To Enter, ID Required

Friday, May 24th

  • 2019 Big 12 Championship Session 1 (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th The Phillips 66 Big 12 Baseball Championship will be held at the Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City this May. The…
  • Benj Heard & Katrina Stone in Concert ([email protected] Performance Lab - Oklahoma City) Head to the [email protected] Performance Lab in Oklahoma City for a night of pop, rock and soul with Los Angeles-based artists Benj…
  • Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears live in Oklahoma City on May 24th with Amasa Hines This show is all ages. Tickets are $17 in advance at...
  • Buffalo Rogers CD Release (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 🎭 Carly Gwin and the Sin/Labrys/The Options (Opolis Prod - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm for a good time
  • Cats (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th You've heard the rage, now see it live at the Oklahoma City Civic Center Music Hall. The record-breaking show…
  • 🎓 Chris Neal's Future Stars Calf Roping (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am Chris Neal's Future Stars Calf Roping returns to the Lazy E Arena Memorial Day weekend.
  • Concerts in the Park (Hafer Park - Edmond) Thru Thu, Aug 15th Hafer Park transforms into concert central Thursday evenings in the summer. Head to Edmond for the weekly Concerts in the…
  • 🎓 Free Zumba (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:00pm Dress to sweat! Free Latin inspired dance fitness class. Space is Limited. RSVP. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government Guthrie Chamber of...
  • Gary Allan in Concert (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Travel to Riverwind Casino in Norman to hear country star Gary Allan perform a live set for a crowd filled with fans. As a…
  • 🏆 Heartbreak Rodeo at Othello's (Othello's of Norman - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Miss Brown To You (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Rockwell Ryan (Redrock Canyon Grill - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • 😂 Sam Norton (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, May 26th

Saturday, May 25th

  • Bethany 66 Festival (Ashbury & College Ave - Bethany) The Bethany 66 Festival is a family-friendly event featuring food, downtown sidewalk sales, antiques, commercial exhibits…
  • 2019 Big 12 Championship Session 1 (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) 1 day left The Phillips 66 Big 12 Baseball Championship will be held at the Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City this May. The…
  • Bad Granny's 10 Year Anniversary (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Bad Granny's celebrates 10 Year Anniversary!
  • 🎓 Botanical Balance FREE Yoga (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00am Botanical Balance FREE YOGA presented by Fowler Toyota, sponsored by Tinker Federal Credit Union and Stephenson Cancer Center Tuesdays, 5:45 pm and Saturdays, 8 am Check in at the Visitor Center and find out location which changes depending on the season Instructors provided by This Land Yoga Bring a mat, water, and an “open mind”…
  • Carry The Load OKC (Oklahoma State Capitol - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:30am Carry The Load is a non-profit organization that seeks to celebrate the true meaning of Memorial Day. This year our national relays start in the far corners of the US and will culminate in Dallas for a 20-hour march on Memorial Day. Our national relay team is stopping in Oklahoma City on May 25 to honor local military, veterans, first responders…
  • Cats (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) 1 day left You've heard the rage, now see it live at the Oklahoma City Civic Center Music Hall. The record-breaking show…
  • 🎓 Chris Neal's Future Stars Calf Roping (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am Chris Neal's Future Stars Calf Roping returns to the Lazy E Arena Memorial Day weekend.
  • Chuck Wagon Festival (National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Enjoy authentic family entertainment at its finest during the annual Chuck Wagon Festival, held at the National Cowboy…
  • 🎭 The Comedy Magic & Mentalism of Max Krause - Matinee Show (Max's Magic Theatre - OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:45pm Ages 5+
  • Concerts in the Park (Hafer Park - Edmond) Thru Thu, Aug 15th Hafer Park transforms into concert central Thursday evenings in the summer. Head to Edmond for the weekly Concerts in the…
  • Edmond Farmer's Market (Festival Marketplace - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00am
  • Oklahoma City FC vs Fortuna Tulsa (Mid-America Christian University - Oklahoma City) Support women's soccer as the Oklahoma City FC continues its streak of excellency. Since its inaugural season in 2008 as…
  • 🎓 Free Device Workshop (US Cellular - Midwest City) Start Time: 9:00am Celebrate Moms and Every Bloomin’ Thing
    Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs, but it’s also one of the busiest, especially if you don’t rely on your smartphone to help lighten the load. Whether it’s ordering food on-the-go, paying bills and managing a budget or even using the latest apps to make sure your kids are safe,…
  • Gardens Monthly Walking Tour (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Guided Walking Tour Last Saturday of Every Month, 10-11am Garden Grounds FREE Expand your knowledge of Oklahoma plants and find inspiration for your own garden with our educational walking tours. Each month will feature different plants from our outdoor collection that make great choices for our region – from year-round color to…
  • Memorial Day Weekend Special (Andy Alligator's Fun Park & Water Park - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am Save $5 on a Dual Park Pass this Memorial Day Weekend! Get a full day of fun at Andy Alligator’s Fun Park and Water Park for only $29.99. A Dual Park Pass includes Unlimited Rides & Attractions and Water Park Admission all day!
    Limit one round of Laser Tag. Does not include Skycoaster.
  • 🎓 Moore Schools Graduation (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Westmoore High School - May 25th, 2019 at 10:00 AM Southmoore High School - May 25th, 2019 at 2:00 PM Moore High School - May 25th, 2019 at 6:00 PM
  • 🏆 OKC Energy FC vs. Colorado Springs Switchbacks (Taft Stadium - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Experience the excitement of major league soccer in Oklahoma as the Oklahoma City Energy Football Club takes on Colorado…
  • Paseo Arts Festival (Paseo Arts District - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, May 27th The annual Paseo Arts Festival in Oklahoma City showcases the original works of over 90 visual artists in the historic Paseo…
  • 😂 Sam Norton (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
  • Severe Weather Science (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Saturday, May 25, 10-11 am Children’s Garden Porch Member $6; Nonmember $8 Best for ages 7 to 11 REGISTER HERE Come and be blown away as we discover the raw power of Mother Nature by studying how storms are formed! The class will observe science experiments and visit the Children’s Garden weather station and Air Quality Bench, where they…
  • 🎡 Thunder Fountain Opens! (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am The Thunder Fountain, the Gardens’ popular water feature, will reopen Saturday, May 25, 10am-8pm. It will remain open Monday through Sundays, 10am-8pm but will close June 3-6 for the Children’s Garden Festival, which runs June 7 through 16. RULES: Please Read All children must be under adult supervision at all times. All diaper-aged children…
  • ToddlerPalooza (Lost Lakes Amphitheater - Oklahoma City) Take the kids to a fun-filled, interactive show at ToddlerPalooza in Oklahoma City. This exciting children's event…
  • Toddler Palooza, Pinkfong & Baby Shark Live (Lost Lakes Amphitheater - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm
  • Norman Veterans Car Show (Oklahoma Veterans Center - Norman) Head to Norman for an exciting car show you won't forget. The annual Norman Veterans Car Show displays…

Sunday, May 26th

  • 2019 Big 12 Championship Session 1 (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Last Day The Phillips 66 Big 12 Baseball Championship will be held at the Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark in Oklahoma City this May. The…
  • Cats (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Last Day You've heard the rage, now see it live at the Oklahoma City Civic Center Music Hall. The record-breaking show…
  • Chuck Wagon Festival (National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Enjoy authentic family entertainment at its finest during the annual Chuck Wagon Festival, held at the National Cowboy…
  • Concerts in the Park (Hafer Park - Edmond) Thru Thu, Aug 15th Hafer Park transforms into concert central Thursday evenings in the summer. Head to Edmond for the weekly Concerts in the…
  • Paseo Arts Festival (Paseo Arts District - Oklahoma City) 1 day left The annual Paseo Arts Festival in Oklahoma City showcases the original works of over 90 visual artists in the historic Paseo…
  • 😂 Sam Norton (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day

Monday, May 27th

  • Concerts in the Park (Hafer Park - Edmond) Thru Thu, Aug 15th Hafer Park transforms into concert central Thursday evenings in the summer. Head to Edmond for the weekly Concerts in the…
  • Famous Last Words in Concert (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Headbang with fellow fans as symphonic metal band Famous Last Words headlines a live set at 89th Street. Concertgoers can…
  • Paseo Arts Festival (Paseo Arts District - Oklahoma City) Last Day The annual Paseo Arts Festival in Oklahoma City showcases the original works of over 90 visual artists in the historic Paseo…
  • 🏃 OK River Run & Dog Jog (Wiley Post Park - Oklahoma City) Head out to Wiley Post Park in Oklahoma City for the OK River Run & Dog Jog, an exciting sporting event for both canines…

Tuesday, May 28th

  • Chisholm Creek Rooftop Hop (Chisholm Creek - Oklahoma City) This summer, prepare for ample live music opportunities. Each Tuesday night, head over to Chisholm Creek to enjoy Happy Hour…
  • Concerts in the Park (Hafer Park - Edmond) Thru Thu, Aug 15th Hafer Park transforms into concert central Thursday evenings in the summer. Head to Edmond for the weekly Concerts in the…
  • Wheeler Criterium (Oklahoma City) Once the weather starts warming up, gather your crew and head south of the Oklahoma River for the Wheeler Criterium each and…

See Also

submitted by eventbot to okc [link] [comments]

BIP39 Words list

Nothing special, just a copy of the current list (for the future) of what can be found at
submitted by lowcarbjc to btc [link] [comments]

An Invitation to the Stardust Afterparty - Part 2

I ripped open the letter. 'Dear mr Aaron Brubecker. You are cordially invited to the media industry event for networking and promotion 'Stardust.' 8 pm at Branning Hall.' '(And of course the years greatest Afterparty.)'
Oh of course!! Daphne must work in the industry as well, she recognised the letter!
As I stumbled towards home in a drunken ecstasy, I embarrassingly and unashamedly texted the number she had given me, saying only 'Yes! See you at the party! I'll be there! Xx'
My hangover the next day was tinged with the sweetest nostalgia for last night.
I spent the next week at work just thinking about Daphne and the party. Would we ever reconnect, even if we met again? I think I was really developing feelings for this girl. Overnight. It was too fast. Not the way I rolled. Got to try and keep my head together.
At the very least, she had re-instilled my passion for the monkey verses. I hadn't really looked at them for over a month before last night. It was good to get a kick in the pants. I spent the next week working on the final edit. The truth is ...there was probably only one more weeks work left in it. (At least of what I had to work with). I had kind of given up because of the missing books.
Hmmm. I should explain. See, my friend Andrew received the monkey verses in pieces,( he says, from an anonymous source).
They weren't in order, but it was easy enough to rearrange because of the subject matter. The major storyline of the two giants was the easiest to salvage of course, and to make it easy, this fabled plot weaved through a large part of the story. When I finally found the first verse --and saw it had a subheading --it was something of a revelation. But when I had found the second and third chapter heading, it had gotten more problematic. Just how many chapters were there?
There wasn't enough content to fill the other chapters, especially when the first chapter was long enough to fill a book (Fitting the title of it). See, I was positive that the first chapter that introduced Fantasy, Reality, Desire and Ambition was one continuous piece. It was like finishing a massive jigsaw when I finally put it all together. Every verse led into the next one, it just made sense. Although the name didn't come until about twenty stanzas in, right after the introduction of Gaia and Uranus -- 'The book of stars and planets'.
(This was, after all, an appropriate title for the first chapter), given that it slowly developed a kind of scientific rationality, slowly replacing ancient mythology with terminology for our solar system by the final stanza. (Replacing Greek gods with the Roman equivalents and equating them with planets, moons and constellations.)
Of course there's still a chance I'm wrong. Maybe 'the monkey verses' is its own chapter, and not the title of the whole work. Admittedly, the other two chapters really confused me. 'The book of mountains and valleys' .... That's one of the chapter name's I can't quite place..
I think I had managed to find 15 or so verses which probably belonged to this chapter. Given the mentioning of various common symbols, trees of knowledge, rivers and ocean deities. But that was all I really had to go on, and even still none of them were really connected in any meaningful sense. Not a single one of them flowed. Then the other chapter I don't think I had any verses for at all. Just the first one: 'As the monkey scoured the entire land, his perception governed by that which was in his hand....'
..Which was an oddly cryptic passage in itself, far less poetic than the rest.
It sort of reminded me of Alice in Wonderland, or that joke: 'A man with a hammer looks on everything as a nail.'
Anyway. That still leaves about 98 stanzas which seemed to be of completely unrelated material. Did these belong to either of these two chapters? Or were they completely unrelated?
The answer to that, I just don't know. This week... I've been doing a final mix and match. Running over the stanzas which have no obvious place and juxtaposing each one with every single passage to make sure I haven't made a mistake. Tomorrow night, after work I'll take the finished piece to Andrew's flat and together we can decide what to do with the excess. Wether we cut the whole lot ...or publish it all as an appendix.
So that was what I was doing when Daphne called.
....Placing random passages in different contexts till I found a match. At first I was blown away, wondering how the hell she even got my number. Then I remembered my overly forward drunken text message I sent the other night. Of course she had my number. Her introduction was very personal, no awkward reintroductions, almost as if we'd been friends for years: 'Aaron, it's Daphne....Hi!'.
I froze for multiple seconds before responding, not from nerves, but because of the synchronicity of what I was looking at. The passage I had just tried to match with the other passages of the monkey verses had finally found a coherent context. ..But was not with any poem in front of me, was with my own life, and the voice on the other end of the phone!
It's hard to explain what I mean....I was looking at a passage about Aphrodite you see. (The one I had been looking at for over an hour) The passage read: 'She calls her victim to their fall, makes starlight blacken and oer-shadows all, from high--'. Goddamn it, and I was reading the word high, right when she said 'hi' -- The words played over in my head again like they were being whispered by a ghost...'she calls'..Never could get my head around co-incidences like that. It sounds like the ravings of a crazy person I know, but I wonder if any readers will be familiar with this type of odd coincidence, or moment of profound meaning in their life?
'Its great to hear from you...what' I finally stuttered.
I was cut off. She characteristically spoke over me, shushing me down: 'shush shushu shuuuuu--- listen, I don't have time to talk right now. You owe me one. I found somebody you need to talk to. Somebody who knows about your poem. Just make sure you're at the party on Saturday and I'll introduce you.' I was stunned, but before I even had time to respond the line had gone dead.
I put down the phone ...and the Aphrodite passage. I probably should get some rest and not read too much into this whole chain of events. Overworking and overthinking, that was my problem. I watched some television and slowly drifted off to sleep.
I had the most feverish dreams that night. You know the kind of dream where everything ought to have a saxaphone playing in the background. You wonder if you played it back on a screen in waking life ....somehow if it even had a coherent plot?? or if the whole dream was just a series of images flashing by?? A dark skinned guy, smiling, with big white teeth. Playing cards being dealt on green felt. A black cat arching it's back. Most of all I remember Daphne. Rising over me like a new moon in a starless sky.
I woke up sweating.
I called in sick to work that day.
Spent most of the day not doing much at all. Wasn't really sick of course. Not physically. Something inside just didn't feel right. Something in the air. Something about the day.
I may have vomitted. I don't remember.
Night finally came, and I left to visit my friend Andrew. Travelled light. Just my bag, the verses, my wallet and a pack of cigarettes. I've been trying to quit smoking, but tonight I need the comfort habit. Me and Drew almost always got on the fags after a few whiskeys anyway, we had that suppressed vice in common. My bag swung against my legs as I walked, my footsteps had more of a cinematic audio quality than usual. It was a dark night, but there was no Daphne moon, like the one in my dream.
I couldn't help but think faster, and more anxiously than normal. The cigarettes helped the anxiety. Maybe it was stupid going to Andrews tonight, if what Daphne says is really true. If she knew more about the verses than me, then what the hell were the two of us going to talk about anyway? Do I tell Andrew about Daphne?
I had given up on the idea of public transport and called an Uber cab. As I rolled through the city-lights, the future flew by me, like I was a fighter jet ---flying through an exploding oil field. The future always felt like it was coming on faster amidst the lights of Hexton city.
There were three layers of future shine to my night trip. Those protective streetlights (which whispered of power, society and government.) The high rise office lights (which gleefully laughed by -- with a power far above the government.) Then far above it all ...were the stars, (which loved with a power absolute and infinite.) Or hated with the same power perhaps, one was sure on that part.
The cab parked outside Andrews building.
I could hear sirens coming from somewhere. And something tickling my skin. Was it starting to rain?
I pulled my overcoat on tight and fled to the shelter of the lobby, then rang Andrews intercom. Hmmm, that's weird. There was no answer, even after I waited for 20 minutes. I rang the neighbours flat, knowing that Andrew often went around to the guys next door. I think one of the guys name was Leonard??
The intercom made that coughing sound when someone presses the receiver on the other end, but nobody spoke. 'Hh...hello?' I stammered, 'I'm looking for Andrew.' There was a muffled grunt of acknowledgment and then a buzz and click as the door released. I pushed it and walked into the hallway.
The worst thing about Andrews apartment was all the stairs. It was on level 34 so... I noticed the uncleared mail, scattered about on the floor near the boxes, and contemplated THAT many people living in a space ...and no one bothering to clean the lobby. Didn't they have strata to take care of basic housecleaning? What a mess.
When I arrived upstairs I was surprised to see someone waiting for me, but it wasn't Andrew. It was his next door neighbour. The other guy. Never did catch his name. He was leaning in the doorway and smoking a cigarette. Seemed a little late to be dressed like that... Casino suit and a fedora in his right hand. Then again I knew that Andrews neighbours were pretty weird guys.
I started to approach, but before I got within 8 metres the guy yelled out to me...'Andrews not here!'
My foot stopped in mid air like his words were a lasso, catching it from behind.
'We have an appointment. It's ok I'm not...' I tried to make a rebuttal but there was no avail. 'He's not here,' the guy yelled back...'I doubt if you'll see him any time soon. Sorry.' And, just like that he replaced his fedora and slammed the door.
'Thanks...' I muttered to no one, or perhaps myself.
'information could've been useful before I walked up forty flights of stairs.'
I banged on Andrews door for another ten minutes, but got no response. About another ten minutes later and I was in the pub around the corner from Andrews apartment block, cursing that son of a bitch for standing me up. Whiskey seemed like an insult after what had happened, so I was throwing back straight Brandy's. Something was wrong. Andrew wasn't the kind of guy to just disappear.
And why was his neighbour so determined to get rid of me?
Anxiety and questions, and more questions. That was all that passed between that night, when the brown liquid swivelled from glass to glass, and the night of the 'stardust industry cocktail party'-- when I held a Manhattan in my hand once more. The same cocktail I was drinking the night I first met Daphne. And the brown liquid swivelled around, the same colour of the carpet in Branning hall. Right now it was the colour of mystery.
Where the hell was she anyway? It was already 9:30. I was sitting at the reserved 'Pomegranate media' table and watching the boring award speeches, picking at the boney piece of quail they had served ..with an aged silver fork.
Of all people I was sitting opposite that absolute prick from accounts, Rhys. With his matted blonde hair and dopey surfers face. This is exactly why I usually ignored these kind of events, I would've thrown the letter straight into the bin if it wasn't for Daphne.
'Why aren't you up there this year?' Rhys said at one point, leaning over the table and spitting with a mouth full of quail. 'I already won the Gatz design of the year award a month ago, isn't that enough?' I cut back at him. That shut him up for a minute, but he had already broken the fourth wall. 'Excuse me' I said, and stood up, leaving my quail meat to die in peace, (If the rest of the vultures sitting around the table didn't get at it first.)
I went outside to have a sneaky cigarette. I needed it. My nerves we're at an all time high this week.
Hours rolled by, and still no Daphne. The event was winding up. I should've known I'd be stood up by a girl like that. The foolish thing was ever getting my hopes up. Then, just as I was contemplating giving up and going home, I saw her. She had come in suddenly holding a big fur coat and talking to a guy wearing green cuff-links.
She passed me and grabbed my arm, saying: 'You're coming to the Afterparty, right? Me and Eric are getting a cab now, you want to hitch a lift?'.'Sure.' I replied, forgetting all my anxiety and hostility.
The two of them both seemed of an otherworldly colour, glowing in the night, like rare precious gems, purple and green.
The car doors slammed, and merrily we rolled along. Her friend Eric seemed concerned about something as I caught a glimpse of him in the rearview, his moustache sat tight on his face, and the wrinkles in his brow, buckled under pressure, twitching like taught guitar strings. Daphne barely stopped talking the whole ride, though we two in her presence remained virtually silent. 'Holy shit Eric, you're such a club guy. I always knew it. Everything about you screams, club, club, club. And the guy with the eyebrows says he wants to turn it into a MOVIE! That's six degrees of me being a fictional character immortalised forever in Hollywood. Do you think you could ask him to put a character called Daphne into it? God.....his wife was absolutely repulsive though, wasn't she?... the way she slid around like a slug, glaring at everyone disapprovingly? What was her name anyway? Oh ...who cares, from now on well just know her as slug lady.' She bellowed out laughter and slapped Eric on the back, turning suddenly to face me: (It was clear she had consumed her share of alcohol that evening -- judging by the way she remembered me, suddenly, as if she had completely forgotten seeing me a few minutes ago). 'Oh you're coming Aaron! Good! My god, did I tell you?? I found someone who knows about your poem. You owe me for this. What favour should I ask in return? 5000 dollars? No. Actually ... I'm quite interested myself. You'll tell me what he says about it won't you?' (She turned around again, throwing her arms in the air.) 'I hope Henry comes tonight. Oh Henry. Isn't he just adorable? Everything he says is simply electric! Eric? You didn't mean it did you? You're not really going to quit?' Soon enough the cab pulled into a back street in Hydlemere, an old warehouse had been converted into a buzzing nightclub with a huge, red neon sign : 'Havana Joe's'. The street was filled with well dressed folk, laughing and drinking cocktails.
I felt odd now that I was here. The way I had built it up in my head, the two of us had really hit it off, the chemistry between me and Daphne, I thought, would be instantly recognisable. But now, I felt distant. The two of us had only really met once and I started to get the feeling that she didn't really care wether I was there or not.
It was a power game. Somehow at the bar, with that poem, I had gotten some unnatural or undeserved power, and now stripped bare I could see actual truth, I really didn't have any. I followed her like a schoolboy... or an obedient puppy dog ...into the black hole of the party.
Daphne seemed to know everyone here. I felt completely invisible. What was I doing here? It was not long after walking down a crowded hallway, she turned dutifully ...remembering my place in her social to do list. 'Aaron, this is Bill! This is the guy I was talking about!' I found myself shaking someone's hand. 'Bill, this is Aaron, the owner of the poem.' The plaid, ordinary looking man's eyes lit up, 'Oh, my, yes.' he said, 'I think we have a common interest!'. Daphne kissed her hand and blew on it, 'I'll let you two talk about it huh?'
She started to walk off 'let me know what you find out.' She whispered to me as she was walking away. I suddenly remembered I didn't give a damn about the monkey verses, they had only ever been interesting to me through Daphne's eyes. Now I was suddenly in this awkward situation, talking to some dull jack-in-the-box I didn't know. Whilst the girl of my dreams walked away from me.
My eyes glazed over, I wonder if my new conversation partner even noticed, as I sunk back into a kind of feotal stage of pessimism. 'Youre friend ...with passages from the monkey verses, he received them anonymously didn't he?' Asked Bill. I half nodded in a vague sign of acknowledgment, as my soul was subject to the pit and the pendulum. 'This is so awesome. We found another one. I don't know how much you know... so I'll tell you everything I have discovered in my research. You're friend is not the only one to receive the poem. There's kind of a small community building around this mystery. We think we my have found where the writer lived.'
Whatever this was. Whatever was being unveiled to me, right now, it was nothing like what I had hoped for, nothing like...anything ...I wanted to hear. I suddenly didn't care at all about appearances, didn't care about social codes of behaviour -- I had to find Daphne, had to tell her how I felt.
'Listen' I said, 'I have to go.' Bill was startled a fight had broken out. He seized me by the arm and slammed a piece of paper into my left hand, clenching his fist over it to close it with the paper inside. 'Here!?' He exclaimed, 'Listen, just meet me tommorrow at this address, the property is open to view. Trust me you're going to want to see this.' I began to walk away, ...opening a drink someone had passed me. I had a sudden inception. Like one gets only occasionally, like a wild animal must get when he fears a lion is stalking him. I got the sudden realisation now -- that I was completely alone. That I was a rogue at this party, a vagabond wandering aimlessly, damned to walk these labrynthic halls if I couldn't find Daphne. I was worthless unless I could be worth something in her eyes again.
The red lights of the old warehouse gave everyone in the place a sinister, demonic hue. The way small groups danced, and anxious-eyes popped out of red faces, gave the whole scene a feeling ...kinda like an anti drug commercial.. Or an expressionist painting. The lost and abandoned faces of Munch came to mind. As I walked aimlessly I was hit by shoulders, the pounding against me -- felt like waves pounding over me, as I floated, drifted with the current, unable to swim and hoping some rip of fortune would lead me back to her.
I wanted to skip time, and go back to that night in the bar, when the only people that existed in the whole world were me and her. I walked through room after room. This -- party --was more like a rave than a corporate Afterparty, the building was as big and hard to explore as the Australian Museum, and dimmer and redder than Hades itself. Finally I spotted Daphne hanging out with some Instagram Hoivres. I felt a final surge of courage inside, like the kind I felt when I first met her. I skulled the rest of my beer and charged towards her, trying to strut. She barely acknowledged me as I approached, I had to grab her awkwardly to get her attention.
It was one of those moments where you hope and pray that the universe will be on your side, when you'll get recognition -- that moment of special attention you've always secretly longed for ...and then the world inevitably let's you down. She seemed put out, annoyed even that I was talking to her. 'I need to speak to you.' I said, forcing her to move away from her friends who put on judgemental 'whatever' faces.
'Did you talk to Bill?' She asked, in an unsympathetic tone which inferred that I couldn't possibly have had time to, ultimately hinting I should turn around and go back and talk to him again.
I pushed her, cleverly using my body language, until I was out of ear reach of the gawking sociopaths. 'I have to tell you something. I'm attracted to you. I like you. There I said it.' Her eyes dropped to the floor. I kept speaking in desperation; 'I came to this party to see you, I don't care about the stupid poem.' She refused to acknowledge.
This was precisely the opposite to how I imagined this night would turn out. I gently put my fingers up to her chin and pushed her head up to look at me. Her eyes were watering, but not because she was emotionally effected. It seemed more like she was just irritated to be put in such an awkward situation.
'Aaar--' she suddenly pushed my hand away, as if trying to throw my affection away, something she didn't want or need. 'Aaron you... You're a nice guy... I'm sorry if--' 'I don't care how you feel' I said -- 'I just want to spend some time with you-- I ---' I started to put my hand up again and she stepped backwards 'I don't.. I'm not interested at all ok.. I'm engaged. I'm getting married in five months!! Your just a... I don't even know you--'.
And just like that. With no shots fired. No knives thrown. I was destroyed.
I tried not to burst into tears, trying to keep my wits about me.. but... I'd already been mortally wounded. She was engaged. Somewhere in the past a volcano was going off, spewing molten debris and lava into the sea, a one off event leaving formations of rocks that would last for centuries. Vulcan and Reality conspiring to build the eternal wall of inconsistency.
The rest of that night was a blur. I didn't stay at the party long and Daphne quickly moved on to laugh and chat with some other randoms. I felt a cold wind blowing from some far away place, maybe from outer space.
As I walked home, I was consumed by the kind of loneliness you feel waiting by yourself in an airport or a hospital.
I just wanted to sleep.
I passed a parked police car, some redneck cops were frisking some drunk teenagers. It was that point you reach where you realise that anything isn't possible, that things end, hearts break, people get caught, go to jail, go to hospital, die.
I think I had the same dreams that night. A black cat arching it's back. A dark skinned guy, smiling, with big white teeth. Playing cards being dealt on green felt. And the moon, yeah it was just a moon. Some left over cliches from Hollywood-- or pulp fiction embedded deep in my unconscious. Superstitious bunk. I knew they had no real meaning. After all, dreams don't have meaning. Nothing really does.
At least.....that's how I felt at the end of the night of the party.
I woke up feeling different. Somehow resolved through blood shot eyes, was I crying in my sleep? You reach a certain point in an existential crisis where you just don't care anymore. I woke up early and had breakfast in front of the television. Cornflakes. Blaring shit. It really was horse shit, TV, my intuition had always been right about that. I found the piece of paper in my pocket. Of course I was going to go. Even in the midst of utter futility human beings will find some mad purpose.
That was the last evil in Pandora's box. Wasn't it? Hope. That was the REAL secret of the Eluysinian mysteries. Orpheus, Persephone, Dionysus, Reality, Fantasy, me, Daphne. That was the one thing we couldn't abandon. The one thing we all had in common -- Hope.
I got dressed and headed to the address 'Bill' gave me. There was a weird atmosphere, a weird kind of action in the air. The address was packed too. It was like an open house inspection in a housing crisis. Weird people too. Creative types. Guys with beards, fixie bikes and antique long-lens cameras. I had to push my way through the crowd, not knowing what the hell I was getting myself into. What the hell was this? What was I involved with? And who the fuck are all these people? Must be some social media thing. The modern mass hysteria.
It took me a while to work out what I was looking at.
It was a dirty, run down apartment. By the looks of it the last tenants were squatters or vagrants. The house itself was completely uninteresting. Dull modern architecture ruined by rain damage. People walking through it were united by a sense of excitement, like tourists in the Parisian catacombs, feeling some how closer to death or life, who knows which. I was dumbfounded until I came across the first mural. Suddenly all the pieces came together. For one : hipsters and street art were obviously magnetic. Then I started to examine the images ..and as I saw the second one, it clicked, whoever lived here was irrefutably connected to the person who wrote the poem that Andrew had been given.
They were almost like chapter illustrations for 'The Monkey Verses' themselves, the graffiti murals. The first image I didn't recognise from any particular verse. It depicted a giant ape, standing over a primordial ...or hyperborean jungle. Each panel was beautifully painted, (I guessed in oils), and underneath was an ornate typographical title. The first one cryptically read: 'The book where the giant HanoKong climbs down from the tree Ygghasan and faces the seven adversities.' The next panel was on an adjacent wall and as I peered into the next room it was clear that the pieces of mural art-lead around in a trail around the house, ( as I could see a plethora of gawkers in the next room umm-ing and ahh-ing). It's hard to describe the images, as they got increasingly complex- depicting a vast array of hominid and ape like beings engaged in a variety of interrelated activities. I recognised some of the titles immediately 'The book of mountains and valleys.' 'The book of weapons and tools' (This was the chapter I had struggled so hard to find content for amidst Andrews notes.) Other chapters I had never heard of before 'The book of the key and lock.' 'The place where Halima Faughn translates the monkey verses' (this particular panel struck a chord with me, for it seemed to depict a strange elephant headed being ...writing something in a large notebook, whilst a cascade of mythical figures seemed to dance inside his mind. There were, I think, 12 murals in all, the last being a kind of mirror image of the first, depicting the same giant ape, this time climbing into the clouds with the text underneath: 'The book where HanoKong climbs up the giant ladder into the misty dimensions of Alosha.'
I tried to absorb it. Not knowing what to think. The artist inside me wanted to play journalist. To ask around, find out what everyone knew. Put more pieces of the puzzle together. Maybe even collaborate to put the entire poem together and see what other chapters everyone else had.
But the real me, whatever we call a soul, wanted to retreat. Somehow this revelation (Whatever it was) was much more of a defeat than a victory. Solving this mystery should've been exciting. But instead it just felt like another nail in the coffin. Whatever I had felt at the party when I found out Daphne was engaged was now just amplified more here, extending beyond love, relationships and social prowess. Now, even the spark of romance between me and Daphne, was being extinguished, like a supernova star burning out. I now owned nothing sacred. There was nothing that only I knew. I was nobody. Just like everybody else here. I was a just cog in the wheel. Just another chapter in the monkey verses.
The phrase stuck in my head.
Desperation breeds hope. Something inside me had to make sure, had to dig up the corpse and try to recucitate it... Had to open up Pandoras box -- one last time.
I called Daphne.
Five dial tones as I brushed past the nobodies taking selfies and snapshots in the dilapidated old house.
As I walk out the front door and into the clear air ...she finally answers. There's no response..she's silent. I feel nothing and lack fear, repeating exactly what was in my mind:
'You and me. We are just another chapter in the monkey verses aren't we.'
There was a dial tone as she hung up.
I crouched for a second, then grabbed my stomach as I limped back towards the abandoned apartment. I kneeled down near the doorway to throw up. Other people had also left tags around the property, probably hipsters and other trendy arty types. Near my feet, someone had written something cryptic in green chalk '...versus the reptile'. Another red herring. Another cryptic nothing clue - leading nowhere. Some other failed creative -- trying to add flavour to the overall puzzle of eternal bullshit, then there was a crude drawing of a serpent with an outstretched, hissing tongue.
I gagged and swallowed bile, then went home.
Still...Whatever I had done, it must have touched Daphne somehow. Three hours later I got a message. 'Meet me in the restaraunt at World Square Tower at 6pm. PS I don't have feelings for you don't get your hopes up. Just feel we need some closure.'
Well. That was that.
I had previously wondered what it's like for an old man who gets told the cancer is eating away at him ..and he only has so long to live? I bet it's the same feeling a 24 year old woman gets when she hears back from that job interview she really wanted, and finds she was rejected. I bet it's the same age old feeling a homeless guy feels every time someone laughs at him, or glares at him unsympathetically when he asks for change. The same feeling I was having now.
You know when you get obsessed by something? The truth is, I really had only known Daphne for less than a fortnight. I wasn't the sort of guy to become a stalker. But I wasn't the sort of guy who handled rejection well either.
Of course I met Daphne at 6pm. Just like in the text. Of course, it didn't turn out like some Hollywood movie. No moonlight kiss, or airport chase scene. In fact ..I felt a million miles away from her. If anything it made me feel like of life's elation, all of our hunt for the stars was... Just insane.
We sat down and ate. Barely speaking. I had fish and chips and she had pasta. In the end I had already figured out what she wanted anyway. That's why I'd brought them. She wanted my part of the verses. Me and Andrew's copy. Wanted to be part of solving the big mystery. Feed off the internet fueled popularity of it all. I handed them over, glad to be rid of the burden.
As if for old times sake, or like someone in a bar who has a lighter, but asks a stranger to light their cigarette, just because it's easier ...she asked me one more thing to settle her conscience.
'How does it end? About fantasy and reality I mean? How does it end?'
I put my fork in and ate a stack of chips.
The truth is. I didn't know. From what I read... it didn't end ...(at least in the segments that I had collated.) But as a story teller. (And a deluded jilted lover I knew I could give it a shot). I mean, I knew at least, what I considered the end. So that's exactly what I told her.
'There's an endless war.' I said. 'Fantasy's legions forge twenty one swords which are designed to end Reality's kingdom forever.' She stared at me with big eyes... Beautiful eyes... Temporarily at least... She was not filled with the loathing she had shown me at the stardust party. I went on...
'Some of the Titan's who are sympathetic with Reality's plight, forge their own sword, more terrible than any of the 21 swords. The swords is given to Reality on his 21st birthday as a gift. (centuries I suppose?) This sword was called 'The edge of Reality'.
But unknown to Reality, some of the Titans who's allegiance is with Fantasy, conspired in the creation of the sword. Unknown to the other Titan's, the sword was forged out of the same matter the 'silver key of dreams' was forged. The cursed object which Fantasy had secretly given to humanity on their 21st birthday, to sully and corrupt reality's realm. Reality's new sword, was carved from the rocks of the imagination. So, in one of the many endless wars of the gods and titans, Reality takes up his sword and challenges Fantasy to fight to the death.
Daphne looked at me. She had a look of folorn acceptance. 'And then?' She asked.
'Well...Fantasy taunts his brother with one last spiteful remark. He admits that he once loved his brother more than life itself. Fantasy, confesseses, as if reconciling with his brother, that ... In fact...Everything he had ever done, he had done out of jealousy for his brothers works. That it was Reality -- that fantasy secretly longed to be. Reality of course, tear in eye, moved to embrace his brother.'
A tear rose now in my own eye.
'But then fantasy dealt the final blow. Spitefully pushing his brother away and laughing '...but Reality... oh my brother ... don't you see. Now it's you, who's forever trying to be like me.' And with this triumph, Fantasy pulled his hidden weapon from behind his back --a chain and knocker, which was stolen from the cave of some Saturnian giants lair, in a deafening blow, he swings, shattering Reality's sword into a million pieces. The pieces fell through the wall of inconsistency, covering earth in it's glimmering crystal shards.'
Daphne sighed ... Then spoke softly and dreamily: 'a million dreamers, pierced by the shards of Reality's broken gift--- forced forever more to stare longingly at the crooked horizons, jagged lines, and fleeting moments along the edge of Reality.'
I couldn't acknowledge her, or her brilliance, but instead preferred to finish the horrible end of the story, as quickly as I could. If I could only hurt her with the truth, like she hurt me. I would do it.
'Unconquered ...Reality raises what's left of the stub of his sword.. And with one swift move, pierces fantasy in the heart with the jaggered scabbard, and death and Thanatos laugh victorious over the battlefield of all that was good, and is now forever lost. Fantasy dies forever....and the future falls into the shadow of death and misery.'
A genuine tear fell from Daphne's eye.
'Tell me something positive.' She said.
I made something up, '..perhaps when Fantasy died he was restored into the arms of his first and one true love, finality.'
She got up and left. That was the last time I ever spoke to Daphne.
I walked slowly home, passing the spot on Darling street where one of my colleagues killed himself, where his brains spilled out on the pavement. It didn't make me feel any emotion, actually the emotion I felt was the opposite of anything. Just a blackness.
I went to the Greek cafe on the corner of Bayswater Road for a coffee before I went home. As I sipped on the short black I had one last emotional thought about the whole series of events of the last two weeks.
'What if I had done everything differently?'
'Would it have even mattered?'
For some reason I pulled a marker out of my pocket and wrote the word 'stardust' on the cafe table.
Then I went home and watched TV, ready to go to work on Monday.
submitted by GoityePowerhouse to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]

[Table] IAma former Knight at Medieval Times AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-03-01
Link to submission (Has self-text)
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Questions Answers
How did you get a gig like that? Were they, like, recruiting from a renaissance fair, or did you have a theater background, or what? I actually applied to be a food server. They make bank. But their manager was out sick the day of my interview and my interviewer was the head knight (manager). During the interview Him: hey you look in shape Me: Yeah i played football and ran track in high school. Him: You ever ride a horse? Me: not once Him: You wanna learn? And maybe be in the show? Me: Hell yes. Him: You start monday... as long as you pass the piss test.
I had zero experience in all aspects.
Wow, then that first piss must have really been something! Stream of legends
They make bank. How much are we talking? Depends on the night and attendance. Ive seen 300 in one night.
Lucky you don't smoke weed :D. Constant drug tests over there. Minor injury? Drug test
I am wasting my life at this Italian place I'm at =/ Its not ALWAYS that high. but more than there im sure.
Haha thanks for your boost of confidence. Also you are doing a fantastic job of replying to people. No problem. good luck if you try and apply. Thanks, im trying to do well for my first and probably only AMA.
I'm assuming there are no asian people working there? I'm asian btw.. Yeah there were two Asians from Russia who worked at the FL castle. Those dudes were sick! They don't discriminate.
If you were a real knight, what would your loadout be? Sword and shield? Big 2-handed sword? Flail? Ohhh I miss these conversations. We(the knights) used to talk about random crap like this from time to time. It depends on my opponent. But, I would normally side with the sword and shield. Both can be used quickly and as weapons. Shield bashes can kill. One handed swords are fast and deadly. Too each his own though.
Sword and board is respectable an time honored, I tip my visor. Nice wordage.
We never spoke that way but its always fun. I raise my lance to you sir.
"Let us gingerly touch our tips together! " HUZZAH.
Also, dost thou joust? Nay, no longer do i joust.
Would you rather joust against 1 duck sized hors... shoots self Seriously though, what's the most common injury suffered by jousters? What's the worst injury you've suffered? Haha REAL jousters I'm not sure... everything is choreographed. Even the lance tips were cut so they looked pretty when they hit the shields. But in those cases when they were not cut right, you could take some hard hits on the elbow(where the shield is resting against) or if you take a hard hit and you happen to be falling that turn, it could make your fall extremely difficult because your balance goes out the window.
You're saying that as if it was all staged... I think you need to know something about santa clause...
Tread carefully, ser knight... Are we being watched? reddit is safe right?
Yeah come on man. Thank god the Easter Bunny is real. Right?
What was your favorite color knight to play? I loved being the Lord Marshall (black knight) from the show about 6 years ago. And the green knight is always fun. He gets to be (or used to at least) a douche bag and its great fucking with the audience.
I went to the NJ one about five years ago with a group from my college. We were in the green knights section. It was heartbreaking when he got killed right at the end :( I was probably there working. Probably either the green one or the guy killing him haha.
Oh man, always thought it was the green knight who was evil... I guess his "theme song" threw me off when I was younger. He was the D bag of the knights, but not the "bad guy"
Always a fun knight to be... my fav.
Thats the knight we would say shit too hahaha, thats funny you say that. He had long hair and everytime he would ride by we would be like nice flow bro sick flow. He just seemed like a douche. Awesome role to play. Especially when he gets into it. You have to!
How many different characters are there? What are their roles? It's usually the same from show to show. 6 knights, a bad guy, a king and princess, The Lord chancellor(the mc), a master of horse, lots of squires.
When I was there green knight had like a goatee thing going on. Black hair. Think he got killed by the the knight? You just described every knight lol.
Oh... Dang... Yea... sorry lol.
Dost thou even hoist? Advance towards me brethren! Nice one.
Has any kid ever run onto the arena, if not whats the craziest thing the audience has ever done? Not kid, but a drunk dude did once. He jumped in and ran across the arena right by the "bad guy" and was just looked at funny. When he tried to jump out, he broke the plexi-glass and cut up his hand BAD. He was charged with drunk and disorderly, trespassing and endangering the animals. Other crazy stuff Ive seen range from flashing tits, to grabbing knights after the show to kiss them. Nothing TOO nuts... it IS a family show.
I almost ran out in the arena in Dallas last week ... according to my co-worker. Why?
I was pissed that the green knight laid down like a little bitch and got himself killed. Laid down? you mean he died...
This is all heresay. The bartenders (females, especially) do a great job of selling booze. Yeah, they have some great assets to do that
How often did you say ni? Never, sadly.
Alas you were not one of the knights that say neee. I twas not...
Why did you stop? Not a career. Girls wont take you seriously when they realize THATS your job EVERYDAY. Not high pay. No retirement plan. LOTS of injuries...even little injuries add up.
Related, did you ever use your job to pick up girls? Dude... that job was an aphrodisiac. women loved us. Many of the guys would pick up chicks all the time. It happens a lot, and frankly isnt fair to the general male population.
I went to Medieval Times (Toronto) a couple years ago and we asked the knight we had if he used the line "I'm a knight in shining armour" to pick up girls at the bar. He only replied "they don't believe you!" Hahaha true, they dont until you show them proof.
That makes sense. I guess us girls do want to feel like a princess being carried away by a knight at least once in our lifetime, and seeing as you guys are the closest thing to what we think of as "knights"... Valid point. We are looked at as chivalrous and loyal. Who wouldn't want that.
So this whole AMA is just a clever ruse to provide proof of knighthood and therefore pick up chicks? That just jaded my whole view of the AMA section. :D. Im engaged and faithful... dont be jaded.
Proof... As in your lance? They ask sometimes believe it or not... Or just grab...
Usually show them a pic on your phone
The proof you showed them, was it your lance? Wouldn't be very chivalrous if I... Showed and tell.
How do you decide who gets the roses? The hot women or do you try and confidence boost the rest? Sometimes cuz they are hot, others cuz they are little girls, and the others are just random. Depends on the knight really. usually wild fans get noticed first
Oh..because, I'm not at all still butthurt I didn't get one...or anything. Many chicks get upset. keep in mind they may have not seen you. And they only have limited amounts. I felt bad sometimes when i didnt get enough to throw out to the crowd. I always asked the princess for more flowers.
I received one when I was 5 years old. My dad told me if I flirted with a knight I might get one. Flirting to my 5year old mind was waving, shyly smirking and batting my eyelashes. It worked! I kept that rose for way too long. It was the highlight of the summer and probably the beginning of my fascination with knights, magic, and that whole era. Haha. did making a little girls day ever brighten up your own day? If I saw a 5 year old waving and doing that, she's getting a flower. When I saw those girls light up and get so excited, it really did make my day.
I'm a guy, and I got the rose during my senior trip. I was pretty loud that night. Lost my voice the next day. I might throw you one too if you were the awesome
That's exactly how I earned my Queen of the Torny sash near the end of the night. I didn't know flailing around obnoxiously actually worked. I was a little ashamed walking back up the stairs. Of you stand out, you'll get at least a flower.
I went to one in Orlando when I was 5. I was super bummed I didn't get a rose, so my grandpa went and found one from who knows where and told me that the king had it specially delivered to me. Awesome grandpa is awesome
Aww...that's the best.<3 I just chugged my giant beer in souvenir cup. It healed the pain. Glad i.. or the beer... could help! lol.
Do you like "The Cable Guy"? Did they portray your job accurately? Awesome movie. Eh... no not really. The audience would never be allowed to go into the arean...ever. The wenches... yeah pretty spot on. Some can get into character, but alot ive seen are like "dude... cmon"
"Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?" They didnt have forks and knives but they had pepsi?
Has anything ever happened unexpectedly and you were forced to stay in character and improv the incident? Many times. most memorable, my weapon broke while fighting a new guy, and we both didnt notice... i went to block my head and he came crashing in with a sword and WHACK... took a sword to the face. Blood went everywhere... the other knight froze in terror... i, dazed, went to the wall with the weapons and grabbed the next one i saw and yelled KEEP GOING!... I was pissed so it was like 125% faster than he was expecting... good training for him though haha.
We're you the white knight? And who chooses the winners? I was legit every color. Usually the supervisor, or whoever is left in charge that show. If no supervisor then the most senior knight will "write the show board" to determine the whole show.
Do the fans talk shit when you trot by? I remember me and my brother used to say random shit to them when we were younger. All the time! Personally I loved it. I always yelled back. It makes the job more fun than it is. I would subtly say kiss my ass by kissing my hand and smacking my horses ass while staring at the mocker. Always got a laugh.
You're going down red knight. Fuck you i never lose... i lie, i lost all the time.
So that was a normal "thing"? The Green knight did that to me in NJ once, and I thought I was special. It all depends on the knight. Some guys play into it, some don't. I was over the top with it when I yelled at the audience. It's hard to say to be honest.
Down down down, red knight's going down! The red knight sucks the big one!
Roughly how much money did you make? Any benefits? Health insurance seems necessary... Health insurance was ok. Not many benefits unless you count being a bad ass for a while. When I left i was making 18 an hour
I dunno if 18/hr would be enough to have huge dudes swinging medieval weapons at me all night. Damn. You'd think those guys would at least make a good salary. 18 is HIGH... Start at 8 being a squire... if your good enough to train you go to 10... once your in the show 12... then up from there whatever you learn and crap.
How is being a bad-ass NOT a benefit? Oh it is.
I've always wanted to go there, but I hate "participating." I want to eat and watch a fucking horse fight. Can you do that, or are audience members forced to participate? Participating makes the experience better for everyone. Imagine everyone sitting quietly not cheering at all... it would be lame. BUT NO, you dont have to. You can sit and just watch if you like. Many do and are not looked at funny for it. Its like going to a baseball game or football game. Your encouraged to yell and stuff. But its no big deal if you dont.
Previous knights have mentioned hook-ups. Any interesting stories there? One story I think i can tell without being yelled at by the SO... A bachelorette party came one night(no idea why) and the bride to be wanted me to be her... last fling? She was pretty aggressive and kissed me pretty wildly. Then gave me her number and demanded to see me later. I was involved at the time so I did not lol. In retrospect I should have later finding out that I was cheated on... thats another story lol.
I went to Medieval Times in NJ last year! I can't blame the ladies for hitting on you, you're very good looking! Thanks much! You saw some of my good friends there.
Good on you for not doing it. Girl had to have been a complete fucking cunt to try and get laid at her own fucking bachelor party. Feel sorry for the guy who married her. I do too. I hope she only did that cuz she was drunk and feeling weird about the marriage... i HOPE shes faithful
Spoiler: she isn't. Twist: neither is he. seem like a redditor...will you join us? I am honored and absofuckinglutley
How much of a fight is choreographed, and how much improvised? Obviously you're not trying to hurt each other, but do you have a bunch of "set lists" or are you winging it? Dream job out of high school, thats about it.
Also, that seems like a God damn dream job. 100% choreographed unless something goes wrong, then as much to choreograph as posible. When its time to improvise, you can tell... usually they will just freeze up and stare with the "wtf do i do now". Training is drilled into us, so when something is different it throws us off.
How heavy is your gear? How long did it take to learn to battle? The armor was only about 7 lbs. Motor cross chest and back with metal shoulders. Lances were about 15-20 lbs. Shields about 10. Swords ranged from 5-15 lbs. It took me about 3 months to learn everything to be "show ready"
You said you had virtually no experience, how long did it take you to become a decent enough horseback rider to be in the show jousting? Surprisingly i picked up riding quickly. Few weeks and a i was a calm and confident. When I was training they didnt need any more knights in the show, so it took about 7 months for me to finally go into the show. It all depends on personal skill level and coordination
I've never been to any of these so sorry if this is a dumb question but is every day and show pretty much the same thing? How often are new shows written and changed up? Yeah, same show day in, day out. Roughly 2 years the shows change... used to be longer but their shows and scripts have gotten seriously bad. The first show i did was in for 5 years i think. It was awesome.
So did any of you and your fellow knights ever have beef with each other? Like anyone purposely messing someone else up out of spite? Curious to know if the rivalries ever translated from script to real life. Thanks for doing this! Oh god yeah. Tempers flew like we were movie stars. We would scream and curse (in shows) at each other and would fucking HATE each other that day. But, when the actual fight came time, it was respectful and hate free. No matter how badly we wanted to kill each other, we knew we could seriously fuck someone up with those weapons. Or worse. They are fake but made of real titanium.
Titanium? I gotta ask.. how much would one set you back? Those started from 350 for the small one handed swords I think. It's been a while.
Why titanium? Titanium smashing against titanium makes sparks
You worked in the New Jersey Castle? I've been there a couple times. Great stuff! Now for my question: If I recall correctly, the knights are split up into different colors, i.e. Red, Yellow, Green, Black & White, etc. How does that process work? Do you get to select your color, or does management force a color upon you? Yes, NJ castle. Its all on who knows what fights and who wants to do what. If that makes sense. The senior guys get to pick normally. Management doesnt get involved, only our immediate supervisor.
Do you have any memorable events during your time there? I remember when I was there one of the falcons stole a patrons meal but you must have some pretty cool stories yourself! (side note-how accurate is the game chivalry(if you have heard of it)or skyrim? Are they boring compared to what you've done?) Oh i have countless memorable events. Never heard the falcon taking food off a plate though. thats priceless. I HAVE heard the flacon grabbing a kids head though... bled like crazy. They are serious when they say DONT WAVE SHIT AT THE FALCON. Game of chivalry...???... during the show? The games portion? Thats all on skill of the knight and chance usually. And im not sure what you mean with Skyrim too.. played it.. love it. But yeah video games of that nature are boring WHEN compared to the job. But i played the crap out of skyrim
How was the kid? Also do you get to choose the weapon or are you forced to use the one your given? He was fine. Mom was pissed lol. Whatever fight you are assigned to do before the show determines your weapon and if you lose a joust.
I hope some of you got the reference I was making. Link to Oh wow! been a long time since ive seen that movie. Totally forgot about this. No we do not wear real suits of armor. He makes us look like more dopes than we are.
I actually think its a cool job, but anytime that I think of the Ren fair or Midevil times, I always think about this scene. I've actually studied western fencing (foil, epee, saber, and broadsword) and eastern sword tactics (Kendo, Eishin Ryu Iaido). I used to as well(that scene)... it so far off. Never did fencing. How does one fence with a broadsword?
What was your favorite experience while working? Wayyy too many to count. Its easy to say the things i miss most... Mainly my horse, Friend. Love that fucker. The comradery between the guys. And the fans and excitement of shows.
Any specific ones that standout? OH! duh.. meeting my fiance! I was the yellow knight and she was in the red/yellow section. She wasnt a slutty "omg your a knight" chick and we hit it off... obviously.
Your horse was named Friend? That is actually one of the best horse names ever. Yup. It was originally Amigo(spanish owners.. from spain), but we already had an amigo... so, he became friend! NOTTT friendly at all to people riding him... except me.. we got along so he kind of just became my horse.
More details. Make me swoon dammit. I asked her if she knew what a princess was... she said yes of course... then i gave her my number and said, call me when you want to be treated like one..
No i wish. that would be awesome. We exchanged numbers and did the whole dinner and a movie thing and got along great. We have been in a honeymoon stage for 4.5 years now.
Do you have life insurance? I specifically remember the green knight dying in the show. Real deaths... never heard of it. ive seen a lot of close calls though... buddy got kicked in the head by a horse... he got LUCKY. Minor injury. He did black out though and the show was over (it was at the end) But yea i do have life insurance. Im in the USAF Reserves so... they said i should.
No. Yes. Maybe... Yes...
Do they serve alcohol? I could see it being a lot of fun to get loaded and cheer your team on. You better believe it. Its pricy but have a few before you go. A FEW. Dont get tanked before hand, they'll throw you out. But during the show go nuts, yell and scream. They wont care.
What's the food there like? Its ok now. Used to be amazing. Most people love it. Chicken, rib, garlic bread, soup, potato, and a pastry. I think thats all of it.
Went to a Medieval Times once, I was given a bowl of warm marinara and they called it "dragonbreath soup" I think that's Excalibur in Vegas
What changed in the kitchen to make it less amazing? They changed recipes and soup and stuff. Not sure really.
I went to the Medieval times in Toronto for my neice's birthday, and ended up buying a 2handed Scottish clay-more($650, you people ripped me off). Please settle this for me, my 9-year old neice and I (26) have been arguing for the last 6 weeks about this... If you were to battle another knight with it, do you think a 2 handed weapon would be viable in a fight? Not me! I dont make those absurd prices! haha.
It depends on the opponent. What do they have? I prefer a one handed sword and shield. BUT, a two handed sword(bigger and heavier) could potentially demolish a sword and shield with one blow. It relies heavily on the skill and weapon of the opponent. Give me more details and ill be happy to answer.
What was the worst injury you received? I got lucky. Almost died a few times and almost broke my legs getting trampled by a horse. Almost snapped my knee backwards by getting kicked by a horse. Lots of close calls and minor injuries. Worst one I got was in the very beginning of a show ( i was the prince, white knight) in the very beginning of an ambush scene. I did a minor flip stunt and my down guy never supported me and I landed on my shoulder tearing my a.c. joint in my shoulder. THAT was an interesting fight. Finished it though... not the show.
Have you ever heard of anyone getting killed in an accident at a Medieval Times? No, never.
What was the breakdown of time spent practicing/performing/anything else? Practice is done everyday usually. Even on off days where no shows happen. Go in, warm up the horses, do some horse exercises, joust a bit, train new horses, train new guys, show fights. Basically thats an off day. Show days: show fights before the show...warm up your horse a bit, and thats it.
Can you speak Klingon? Negatory sir.. Star Trek the new movie is cool... but thats my limit.
That's another Garden State reference. Too lazy for a link. I know, just answering honestly
Ever seen the Tournament of Kings in Las Vegas at the Excalibur casino? If so, how does it compare to Medieval Times? Never have, always meant to. I applied once when I thought of moving out there for a change of scenery and they told me I didnt have to audition. More money too... ugh. So I cant fairly say how it compares... I have heard they sing there and are a little more over the top.
I went to it once a few years ago... no singing, but it was awesome. I was hoarse for a few days because of all the shit-talk my section yelled to the other knights. I think my section was the purple Russian knight. Food was good too... especially the Dragon's Blood (spicy tomato soup). Yelling is a plus at every show. kudos for the lost voice.
I went to the one in L.A. with my dad when I was eleven. I had a crush on our handsome blue knight. I couldn't talk for three days afterwards. Thats a common problem even with legal girls... and its hilarious
Have you ever met the Black Knight? Did he set you on the right path as a teen and spark a lifelong dream to become a jouster? Was that really a cheeseburger I ate 2 hours ago? I have, and he did. He was my inspiration. He was kind of a dick though.
I'm not sure what you ate.
Is the king still called Alfonso? Because that was my favorite part. No, the names all change. That was my favorite too
How historically accurate were your jousts, costumes, battles etc? Did you have to sacrifice accuracy for safety or audience enjoyment? I know at one point the story line was very accurate to some history in spain. Now? Its all out the window and the only things accurate are the county names and knights names... supposedly.
Has being a knight in shining army help you get laid? While employed there, plainly... yes.
Which is the most popular of the castles? My guess is Orlando. California and NJ battle it out for busiest. And orlando i think is like 3rd.
Also are there any Knights that take it way too seriously? Those guys never make it to the show. They take it way too seriously and love the medieval era, but are as coordinated as a 16 year old trying to fuck. Just bad. I Love the era, but didnt speak or act that way.
What was the worst/funniest thing to happen during a show? Personally? Worst... 1. getting a sword to the face and bleeding everywhere and my fans not giving two flying fucks... "oh hes bleeding alot... can i have a beer" Fuck them.
Getting trampled but a blur of white (white horse) and almost breaking both my legs.
Tearing my a.c. joint in my shoulder in the beginning of the show in the beginning of the fight... awesome.
Funniest: 1. Having a horse "jerk off" in the middle of the "dancing horses" part... I think i fell into the sand laughing so hard (no it wasnt the horse near me)
One of the knights was trying to impress a lady during the games part... when really fast on his horse and was about to throw a javeline into a targer(imagine him up in his stirrups being all badassery) When his horse decides to come to a dead stop, flipping the knight over the horses head and almost out of the arena. he was fine... so it was fucking hilarious.
I really like getting drunk and going to the later shows so I can yell at the knights, can you here when someones yelling stuff like sweep the leg and play dead or does it all just washed out by everyone yelling? I always like to think the knights can hear me saying stupid things. You guys are the best... my hats off to you and your buddies. You make the show better for us.
During the fights, no we cant hear you normally. Adrenaline is pumping and we kind of just see each other and what we need to do next. Unless you have a very quiet show and your real loud up on the glass... yeah we hear you... youll even see us break character and laugh... happened to me all the time.. "PUT IT IN HIS ASSS" anddd im laughing. Totally unexpected things to throw us off make you a memorable person.
My buddy is one of the kings for the Orlando show - ever do any work with cast members from other locations? Also, is the show the same for all the locations or do they each have their own variations going on? Ive been there before... and may be going actually next week or so. Yes the show is the same country wide, unless a new show is going in, then it will go castle to castle in a few months. Ive worked with guys at the NJ castle from almost every castle in the country. Injuries take a toll and people get flown in to help out.
I just might! What exactly do squires do? Clean stables and groom horses? They do everything. Prep for the show, clean weapons, prepare lances, clean/wash/dress horses, paint shields, help the knights.
Edit: btw what do you do now? Im trying to be a cop, but i work at teterboro airport right now.
Last updated: 2013-03-06 02:05 UTC | Next update: 2013-03-06 08:05 UTC
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